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  1. #1
    The Resident Shopaholic susieq's Avatar
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    Default I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    So I was offered a job in San Leandro, CA (by San Fran) today. I have yet to call them back in regards to the salary package but I think it's going to be much better than what I get now. This would require me to move across the country. I don't know a single person in the area. My boyfriend also won't be coming with me. He is trying to get a job here in Vermont and so he'll be staying. We have been dating for over two years and it's breaking my heart to think we need to separate. I should be thrilled about this because it's for a HUGE company and position that would be very impressive on my resume, but i'm not. I'm scared and worried. What do I do? I know this would be so good for my future but if my boyfriend isn't a part of my future, I don't even know if I could imagine that. We were planning on getting married....now what?

  2. #2
    Karen linvline's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    susie, i'm sorry that you have make a choice between job and relationship
    However, you just have to weight which one is more important to you.
    If he is THE ONE for you, some scarify seems to be a must, but if you can't even see a future with him, choose the job which benefits you.

  3. #3
    RM Ticked Off!
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    first, congrats on the awesome job offer!

    secondly... as someone who has been through a few jobs trying to find "the ONE" (job), i can honestly say that it doesn't really exist. i'm not saying you shouldn't take this job -- if your heart says yes, then take it -- but i haven't really heard anything in your post saying that you would LOVE this job and you would die if you couldn't take it... the fact that it's a "huge" company and would be very "impressive" on your resume isn't enough for me. and believe me, i have been there, with a "huge, impressive" company on my resume. i will say that it has helped me get other jobs, but at the same time, it's not to say you can't get a great some elsewhere with a smaller, lesser known company that might look equally as impressive. it's what you do with your job, not what your job is or who it's with, that makes or breaks it.

    sorry it's a bit long, but i guess my point is... do the right thing for yourself. that might not necessarily mean the right thing for your resume, or your career dreams at the moment, but i'm a FIRM believer that things in life will eventually turn out the way they are meant to be.
    Wishlist: get out of debt

    so totally :banned2:


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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    What would he do if he was offered the better job accross the country? Would you make it work if he had to move? I gave up a career to follow my husband all over God's green earth, and have never looked back.....but I know he would have done the same for me had I been the one bringing in more money because of it. My point is, make sure you are both on the same page, no matter what you do. Eventually, if you do take the job and still end up getting married in a couple years, someone at some point will have to give up SOMETHING right? So the question might be a just a matter of now or later....I hope that makes sense!

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    RM Ticked Off!
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by KANMP View Post
    What would he do if he was offered the better job accross the country? Would you make it work if he had to move? I gave up a career to follow my husband all over God's green earth, and have never looked back.....but I know he would have done the same for me had I been the one bringing in more money because of it. My point is, make sure you are both on the same page, no matter what you do. Eventually, if you do take the job and still end up getting married in a couple years, someone at some point will have to give up SOMETHING right? So the question might be a just a matter of now or later....I hope that makes sense!
    that was very well put!
    Wishlist: get out of debt

    so totally :banned2:


  6. #6
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    Wait, what about him? If this is such an astronomical job offer for you, then why isn't he willing to go with you? Maybe he would have a better chance of finding a job there than in Vermont.

  7. #7
    nicole iheartmjnicole's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by KANMP View Post
    What would he do if he was offered the better job accross the country? Would you make it work if he had to move? I gave up a career to follow my husband all over God's green earth, and have never looked back.....but I know he would have done the same for me had I been the one bringing in more money because of it. My point is, make sure you are both on the same page, no matter what you do. Eventually, if you do take the job and still end up getting married in a couple years, someone at some point will have to give up SOMETHING right? So the question might be a just a matter of now or later....I hope that makes sense!
    I don't think anyone could have put it better! I agree with everything you said. You really need to be on the same page, especially on something this important.

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    Official Bagista gizmo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    I should be thrilled about this because it's for a HUGE company and position that would be very impressive on my resume, but i'm not.

    Actually, you should be scared and worried! Moving and starting over in a new place can be so scary that most people never do it. If you want to go, go. The great thing about going is that you can always come back if you change your mind. Vermont is not going to vanish any time soon, but the opportunity to go some place near a great city like SF, will. Good luck.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    *The TBF Elite* Maeveyblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    Moving and a new job are both scary prospects. But you have obviously been job searching and took the hob interview with this company so you knew the risks that you would be offered the job. So I say that while it is scary, it also sounds exciting, sounds like something you want to do. So just stop second guessing yourself and go with it.
    Also, didn't you cheat on said boyfriend several times this past summer? If you were really in the "pre" marriage stage, that wouldn't have happened. Obviously your brain is trying to tell you something, even if your heart is staying sentimental.
    Thinking of...
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  10. #10
    ♥'s RM Jess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Maeveyblue View Post
    Moving and a new job are both scary prospects. But you have obviously been job searching and took the hob interview with this company so you knew the risks that you would be offered the job. So I say that while it is scary, it also sounds exciting, sounds like something you want to do. So just stop second guessing yourself and go with it.
    Also, didn't you cheat on said boyfriend several times this past summer? If you were really in the "pre" marriage stage, that wouldn't have happened. Obviously your brain is trying to tell you something, even if your heart is staying sentimental.
    I agree...

  11. #11
    Ilovebags violaceous's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Maeveyblue View Post
    Moving and a new job are both scary prospects. But you have obviously been job searching and took the hob interview with this company so you knew the risks that you would be offered the job. So I say that while it is scary, it also sounds exciting, sounds like something you want to do. So just stop second guessing yourself and go with it.
    Also, didn't you cheat on said boyfriend several times this past summer? If you were really in the "pre" marriage stage, that wouldn't have happened. Obviously your brain is trying to tell you something, even if your heart is staying sentimental.
    ITA.
    From what you've posted regarding your relationship on here, it sounds like it probably wouldn't have lasted anyway
    I know it feels different now that you actually are faced with the reality of not being with him since you've been together for so long, but it's probably what's best for you.
    Long-distance relationships are terrible and make things harder, IMO. You should have a clean break, and if you're really meant to be together, you'll be together farther down the road (JMO).

  12. #12
    BagLuv bubbsgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    Hi Susieq,

    I have a career with a Fortune 500 Corporation. I've worked for them for twelve years and I love what I do. I have a Business Degree and I am working on my Masters in Management--Human Resources. I am in a leadership role at the executive level and I am highly compensated for what I do. If I knew then what I know now though I would have NEVER sacrificed what I did just for a job/career even for doing what I love.

    I moved a lot. All within a 3-4 hour drive from home but because of the hours I worked I never had time for friends and family. I missed out on the last days of my father's life, the birth of my first niece, every Christmas for the past six years (holidays are quite lonely), picnics in the summer with friends and family, weekends on a whim doing odds and ends with people you love, failed at a marriage, struggled at dating because my career was my life.

    I get that you can always make friends but I have lost friends through this process. Because this change will bring uncertainty you have a higher risk of losing yourself in your new job and defining who you are by what you do at this new company.

    Some people can adapt and adjust to this type of lifestyle. I have adapted but I will never accept it fully. It is what I have chosen and once you are addicted to the money and the success it's hard to turn back to "simple life". You have to make the decision for you, however if my post makes you sad at all you really need to think about it hard.

    Best of luck to you. It's not easy.

  13. #13
    The Resident Shopaholic susieq's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    wow thanks everyone.

    i got to think about it today and realized that this job isn't a dream job - if anything it's a bit boring compared to what I do now. I think if it was a different job, I'd make the move. But I think because I hate my current job so much - I'm starting to do the "any job is better than this" mentality and that won't help me in the long run. So I have made the decision to decline the offer. I went out there hoping the job would be interesting and wanting to get a feel for the company atmosphere but it's not the best fit for me and to make that move without being totally head-over-heels with the job, not very smart. Right now the only thing is getting out of my current job and making $$ - but those aren't good long term reasons.

    I have an interview coming up on Tuesday for a job I REALLY want. It's going to be a lot harder to land this upcoming job but I got to try because I know I'd be so much happier.

  14. #14
    Ilovebags violaceous's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    Good luck with Tuesday!

  15. #15
    Moderator/Blogger VivaLaJuicy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I was offered a job! But I need your advice

    Good Luck Susie!

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