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  1. #16
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    Wow...
    Well, Susie, all I have to say is that I think you need to sit down and have a serious think session here. A good long look at your life and what you really want is the only thing that's going to get you past this and allow you to make the right decision for YOU. I agree with the other girls, what you did was completely unfair to your boyfriend. But like they said, this could very well be a sign that perhaps you guys aren't meant to continue in your relationship anymore. Don't be mad at us, we just want what's best for you!

  2. #17
    *The TBF Elite* Marissa806's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    My boyfriend just broke up with me... and TRUST ME.. it's not a good feeling... especially when he left me for his job.

    I WILL NEVER take him back to be lovers again!!!!

    Make your decision wisely! Don't break up.. then think he will wait for you and you 2 can get back whenever you want.

    Breakup is a horrible thing. I never cheated on my BF ever... I love him so much.. and I'm completely broken inside. Make your decision wisely!

  3. #18
    The Resident Shopaholic susieq's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    okay girls. well it's been a rough two weeks. between the terrible situation at work and my relationship. we have spoke about it together - i didn't tell him about the other guy but i think in a way, it's best not to. it might cause a lot more pain if he found out and for me, while i know it was wrong i also just don't think the pain is worth the truth.

    i asked him if i could move to nyc for a few months, maybe even up to a year. he went insane. he told me that if i moved away for even a month that he would lose me and he can't let go of me. i tried explaining how i feel like it's too serious, too fast. how if we did get married, i'd always say "what if...". i explained ALL this to him and still he doesn't want me to spend a second of my time alone - otherwise it's over 100%.

    it's a trapped feeling. i love him but i'm still younger than him and not ready. also, our careers are on two very different paths. right now, i'm more concerned with my career than i am with having a relationship. whereas he is the opposite. i just feel that if you're not stable with who you are - then how can you have a stable relationship.

    i'm at the point where, yes i feel like he's trapping me. however, i am just going ahead and applying for jobs ANYWHERE. he has the option of coming with me or not and i told him if he comes with me, he can't hold any resentment if this relationship turns out bad.

  4. #19
    Official Bagista daniC23's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    Susie, the situation with the other guy sucks, and you know that and yea its not that great, but people make mistakes and take it as a learning experience . Having stress at work sucks and to find a job that makes you happy is what matters. If NYC is what makes you thrive and happy you need to go with your gut. Don't let him control you otherwise. You have to do what makes you happy or you'll regret it and hate yourself for passing up opportunities and paths that you want to take.

    You are a very smart girl and I know you will make the best decision, I wish you the best of luck. And being in the design industry you need to take the good chances you can get now, and I'm sure no matter what that means some sacrifices. I know once I graduate from my jewelry design major ill most likely face some decisions that are hard, but I want to do whatever it is that I know will make me succeed, and I want to thrive on that then let everything fall into place.

    Stay strong! If you need someone to talk to I'm here, good luck with everything! Hope things start looking up for you!!!

  5. #20
    Rising Bag Star
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    Sorry to burst in late on this but why do you want to stay with him if you feel trapped? Moving somewhere else isn't going to make that feeling go away because it's about the two of you that is the problem, not the location. Make sense? It sounds like you are not ready for a commitment or marriage and that is okay. Just be honest with yourself and with him. Sometimes we stay with someone because we are comfortable there. And yes, we love them, but not in the way that we should and they deserve.

  6. #21
    Vintage Lover lilstrlett's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    I agree with MrsJones. You need to be honest with yourself. Are you afraid to leave the relationship because you're afraid to be alone? Do you think you're not going to find someone else? Are you not leaving because you feel like you've invested too much time in the relationship? If you're saying yes to these then you're not in the relationship for the right reasons.

    Feeling "trapped" isn't a good sign, and you need to do what's right for you. If he won't let you live your life the way you want to live it, then he's not the right guy for you. You have to be able to feel free and comfortable in a relationship, and it seems like you don't.

    Don't let the relationship linger on longer than it needs to. Don't be afraid to follow your heart.
    Mrs. Lawson
    7-16-11

  7. #22
    ♥ Moderator ♥ Zombiegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    I don't have any advice about relationships, I got married when I was 18 so I have only ever been in one serious relationship. Plus everyones situation is different. We can all tell you what you should or shouldn't do but until we are in your shoes we don't know what we would do so...
    All I can say is that I support you in whatever decision you make Susie!
    W I S H ♥ L I S T
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  8. #23
    Vintage Lover lilstrlett's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    Zombs you got married when you were 18??

    Have you ever seen that show "Engaged and Underage"
    Mrs. Lawson
    7-16-11

  9. #24
    ♥ Moderator ♥ Zombiegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    No, I haven't.
    W I S H ♥ L I S T
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  10. #25
    Vintage Lover lilstrlett's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    It's on MTV - it's about young people, under the age of 20, who are all getting married to other young people, mostly under 20
    Mrs. Lawson
    7-16-11

  11. #26
    ♥'s RM Jess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    Susie - if I were you I'd tell your bf about the other guy. I wouldn't keep it a secret, if he found out, it'd be worse. I'm sure you will figure out what to do. If you don't see yourself "settling down" with your bf anytime soon, I would let him know. He seems like he loves you and wants to be with you so much. I wouldn't lead him on.

  12. #27
    Official Bagista gizmo's Avatar
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    Cool Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    Based on his reaction--"... he went insane. he told me that if i moved away for even a month that he would lose me and he can't let go of me....he doesn't want me to spend a second of my time alone - otherwise it's over 100%"--I believe he's not acting out of love. That's fear speaking. He sounds like a controlling and posessive person who is threatened by your ability to retain some individuality in this relationship. If he truly loved you, your well-being would matter to him. But as it is, he's 100% focused on himself, on how your decision will affect him. No need to assume malice; people do this unaware they're doing it. If you serve his needs or the needs of the relationship at the sake of yours, you'll be miserable. We tend to put the relationship first, the guy second, and we third. In the long run, that never works. Five, 10 years from now, whatever you do today to further your education or career will belong to you and will still be there--no one can take that away from you. This man, on the other hand, might not be there. So my advice is to base whatever you do on wisdom instead of your fears, his fears and demands, confused feelings, cold logic...wisdom will never fail you. Choose wisely, because this one choice will last a lifetime. Good luck!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #28
    I am now LVholicmum juicyholicmum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    Hi susie sorry to hear about your job hon, and with regards to your relationship, I think you should just be honest and tell him what you really fee, tell him that you feel "trapped", and it's right what the girls are saying feeling trapped is NEVER a good sign, and you would just always want to get out...

    If you love him and he loves you he'll let you be happy, he'll sacrifice for you. So whatever you decide I know it'll be for the best

  14. #29
    The Asian Sensation
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    Hmmm What would Jesus do....






    Seriously, As hard as it may be...I would come clean about the other guy. Just tell him it was a mistake and you want his forgiveness. If your "Love" is strong enough...You guys will get through it. I mean...Wouldnt you want him to tell you if he was in your position?? Also, If you have enough respect for him..you'd tell him IMHO.

  15. #30
    Rising Bag Star
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    Default Re: Speaking of break-ups... I need help

    Go to NY. Do not get married to the boyfriend.

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