Dont you hate when a close friend or family member buys the same purse you have? My sister-in-law does this all the time. Its like if she's trying to compete or something. But instead of getting something nicer or different she gets the exact same thing. Ok for instance, I got the coach carly a while back and she went out and got the same purse! And then she got the same coach belt I got, the same straightner lol and we recently got a new vehicle (in April) and like a week later she was trying to do the same, except she wasnt approved. We get along great but its things like this that get to me. I havent said anything to my husband or even mentioned it to her. Should I keep quite my feelings or should I speak up? Another thing, she doesnt have the income to be splurging like me and my husband. I feel bad for her cuz she has 3 girls a husband that doesnt work AT ALL; shes works full time by the way.
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Man, that's a tough situation. If you're close and you value her friendship, I don't know that I'd say anything simply becuase it may put a strain on not only your relationship with her, but also your relationship with your husband if she takes offense and says something to him.
Of course, if it gets really out of hand, maybe you could say something along the lines of how well they must be doing since you see she just bought a new such-and-such. That way, you're not saying anything directly to her about her "copying" you, but you definitely send the message that you're aware of it.
It really sucks that her husband does nothing though - that's probably why she's treating herself even though they can't afford it.
I can understand why your bothered... i'd be pretty annoyed too! Umm... If she's struggling to keep "up" with you and your new purchases that's really unwise of her, but in the mean time, I guess it just depends on how good of a relationship you have with her...
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Man, that's a tough situation. If you're close and you value her friendship, I don't know that I'd say anything simply becuase it may put a strain on not only your relationship with her, but also your relationship with your husband if she takes offense and says something to him.
Of course, if it gets really out of hand, maybe you could say something along the lines of how well they must be doing since you see she just bought a new such-and-such. That way, you're not saying anything directly to her about her "copying" you, but you definitely send the message that you're aware of it.
It really sucks that her husband does nothing though - that's probably why she's treating herself even though they can't afford it.
Thanks for your input. I think I'll keep it to myself for a while. She's my husband's only sibling and I dont want things to be tense between them or me.
I would like for her to just stop compteting or copying me simply because she cant afford it, and I mean that in the nicest way. It even affects us because her mom, my mother in law,and her share accounts like credit cards and the auto loan and when my mother-in law (and my sister-in-law) cant make a payment, of course my hubby has to fit the bill.
And i totally agree she does treat herself cuz no one else can do it for her.
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my best friend used to do this constantly with me, especially when I was into Dooney bags in highschool. I made the mistake of telling her I was getting a watch for Christmas and showing it to her, guess who had the same one Christmas morning. My mom also bought me a Dooney for hearing the true story behind my parent split and taking it well, so it meant ALOT to me, and I'll never get rid of it (all of my Dooney's have a great sentimental value, even though they sit in storage I could never part with them) Anyway she went and bought the same one because she 'had to have it' I get annoyed with this, her mom even would call and apologize saying shes inconsiderate to do that all the time and should ask if I mind. She does this with her cousin too, they always are the people that must "one-up" everyone else, they spend their whole life 'keeping up with the jones' that I dont think they enjoy what they do have, its sad.
And when it comes to her likings, she fell in love with the MJ Mariah bag, and I found one for a great price but passed it up knowing she'd be complaining for years that I got the only bag she ever wanted (yet she'd never save to get one, and I would thats the difference) I wont buy the same thing a close friend because I've had many bickering girl drama with this as a child for having a same pair of jeans and shoes as someone...
I would cut her a little bit of slack, especially since she is the sole breadwinner. Thats got to be rough, a non working husband and three kids - would assume its just nice for her to feel like she could have a treat now and then like you do. I wonder if instead of "competing" shes just jealous of your more comfortable lifestyle and thinks buying the things you do would give her a taste of that life!
I would cut her a little bit of slack, especially since she is the sole breadwinner. Thats got to be rough, a non working husband and three kids - would assume its just nice for her to feel like she could have a treat now and then like you do. I wonder if instead of "competing" shes just jealous of your more comfortable lifestyle and thinks buying the things you do would give her a taste of that life!
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Originally Posted by NashvilleDiva_83
Take it as a compliment. Maybe she sees you as a role model, and how happy you are and is trying to find her happiness through material things...
Yeah I agree girls, Im pretty sure she does it because no else can treat her to it. And ever since I was dating my hubby , my mother-in-law has told me that my sister-in-law has purchased clothes similar to mine because she liked the way I dressed I will take it as a compliment and just forget about the whole thing. I can save myself a headache and not put any strain on our realtionship.
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Just an aside.. I have a SIL exactly like this (my brother's wife) but she doesn't work and makes my brother hold 2-3 jobs to keep her at home (they have a toddler) and I KNOW they can't afford much because they're crazy in debt. DH and I bought an SUV, she traded in a car that had negative equity just so SHE could have an SUV. She suddenly started to become aware of my handbag collection, and one day I see her with a brand new Coach Carly, then a Prada pochette. DH and I bought a house, they decided they needed to buy a house. My mother finally called her out on it because of the strain it was putting on my brother. He makes like $3000 a month tops and their mortgage alone was $2000.. They've since moved and we suspect it was foreclosed. Long story short, the relationship is strained at best and we haven't spoken since last June.
It's playing Keeping up with the Joneses...
Take it as a compliment and move on. Maybe suggest the two of you go shopping and help her find her own style. This is what I do with copycats.
Haha I'm so outspoken I would be like "Stop buying the same thing as me all the time!"
She's probably just looking up to you. She thinks you're cool and wants to be cool like you. I used to do it to my sister when she was in high school and I was in middle school. I know you both are older than when I did it to my sister, but it's still the same. She just wants to feel like she's "in".
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Dont you HATE when....
Ok for instance, I got the coach carly a while back and she went out and got the same purse! And then she got the same coach belt I got, the same straightner lol and we recently got a new vehicle (in April) and like a week later she was trying to do the same, except she wasnt approved. We get along great but its things like this that get to me. I havent said anything to my husband or even mentioned it to her. Should I keep quite my feelings or should I speak up? Another thing, she doesnt have the income to be splurging like me and my husband. I feel bad for her cuz she has 3 girls a husband that doesnt work AT ALL; shes works full time by the way.
Re: Dont you HATE when....
I will take it as a compliment and just forget about the whole thing. I can save myself a headache and not put any strain on our realtionship.
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