Is this to much to ask?! BF problem! - Designer Handbag & Purse Chat.. The Bag Forum

JessLR · May 9th, 2008, 10:56 AM

OK, my bf and I have been dating for almost 2 and a half years now. When we first starting dating...he like took care of himself, you know, shaving, smelling good. Now, he shaves like once a week...or he will if I ask him to constantly.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I wish he still took care of himself and made an effort to look good for me. I know I make an effort to still look nice for him...he should do the same, right? So, I've told him how I feel and all that, and he gets SOO mad! I don't know why, I don't really say it in a mean or attacking way.

Do you think this is wrong or cruel of me?

bham2007 · May 9th, 2008, 11:00 AM

Omg my husband is the sammmeee way! I don't think it's too much to ask at all.

JessLR · May 9th, 2008, 11:02 AM

It's like guys give up after the first 6 months or something?! Duh, if I let myself go...I wonder what he'd think then??

Jennifer · May 9th, 2008, 11:04 AM

I so know what you mean! My gosh. I seriously useto yell at my bf sometime to shave or to wash his hair with soap! (i know that sounds gross doesn't it) He has super curly hair and he's so picks about his curls and he thinks that shampoo flattens his hair. Well, that has until he discovered Lush! I made my bf a lush addict. Lol. He has all the lemon smelling stuff. .. he smells like a lemon head! mmmm But he still doesn't shave on a daily basis.

Maeveyblue · May 9th, 2008, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessLR

OK, my bf and I have been dating for almost 2 and a half years now. When we first starting dating...he like took care of himself, you know, shaving, smelling good. Now, he shaves like once a week...or he will if I ask him to constantly.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I wish he still took care of himself and made an effort to look good for me. I know I make an effort to still look nice for him...he should do the same, right? So, I've told him how I feel and all that, and he gets SOO mad! I don't know why, I don't really say it in a mean or attacking way.

Do you think this is wrong or cruel of me?

As long as it was said in a loving manner, I don't see a problem with it. I woud definitely stress the fact that when he looks good, it not only makes you proud to have him as your bf, but also that it gets you hot. That worked with my husband.

I think they get into a comfort zone with us because we become like a buddy and they forget that they are still trying to woo us. Just let him know you love him and still think he's sexy, but that he needs to spruse up some. Also, let him know the beard hurts your face. My husband is religious about that once I told him it hurt.

Jennifer · May 9th, 2008, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maeveyblue

I think they get into a comfort zone with us because we become like a buddy and they forget that they are still trying to woo us. Just let him know you love him and still think he's sexy, but that he needs to spruse up some. Also, let him know the beard hurts your face. My husband is religious about that once I told him it hurt.

e-x-a-c-t-l-y

boysRsmelly · May 9th, 2008, 11:08 AM

Hehe... my husband shaves like once a month. I just don't even bother asking anymore, it doesn't do any good.

Jess, you should totally just go without doing your hair and makeup for awhile! That would be so funny and it might just teach him a lesson!

boysRsmelly · May 9th, 2008, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maeveyblue

I think they get into a comfort zone with us because we become like a buddy and they forget that they are still trying to woo us. Just let him know you love him and still think he's sexy, but that he needs to spruse up some. Also, let him know the beard hurts your face. My husband is religious about that once I told him it hurt.

Actually, I want my husband to at least keep his goatee. If he shaves everything off, then it is like kissing sandpaper!

JessLR · May 9th, 2008, 11:12 AM

Well, I'm not trying to be mean but he just looks like a bum when he doesn't shave or anything!! We're like fighting over this now! He just doesn't get it. He thinks I am not happy with him because I said I wish he'd make more of an effort. UGH!

I don't know, I think you should just present yourself in the way you want to be perceived (I think that's right). If you look like a bum, people will think you're a bum.

JessLR · May 9th, 2008, 11:15 AM

I should just stop showering and see how he likes it! Lol, I don't think I could though...I'm a clean freak. I've told him it hurts....he must not care though! He still doesn't shave.

angelthelson · May 9th, 2008, 11:31 AM

oh no!!! you are right about telling him to take care of himself. good thing hubby's a clean freak and i don't need to yell and tell him to clean himself

he also shaved his goatee because i said so (lol)

Maeveyblue · May 9th, 2008, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessLR

Well, I'm not trying to be mean but he just looks like a bum when he doesn't shave or anything!! We're like fighting over this now! He just doesn't get it. He thinks I am not happy with him because I said I wish he'd make more of an effort. UGH!

I don't know, I think you should just present yourself in the way you want to be perceived (I think that's right). If you look like a bum, people will think you're a bum.

You need to tell him that by him acting this way (the bum look) it has made you feel like he doesn't want you anymore and isn't happy in the relationship. That will be a kick in the butt for him. Because guys live to please so long as they know exactly what we want from them. And again, remember the sex thing.
So tell him the above and that you love him and worry that he is leaving the relationship by his less than stellar grooming habits.
Good luck.

brandieforever · May 9th, 2008, 11:54 AM

I don't think you're wrong at all or mean. What you're asking for is reasonable.

Maeveyblue · May 9th, 2008, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brandieforever

I don't think you're wrong at all or mean. What you're asking for is reasonable.

Just making sure it is asked in a graceful, tactful way....

daniC23 · May 9th, 2008, 08:10 PM

so much like my boyfriend. We've been together for 5 years and he thinks its funny sometimes to grow out a goatee or attempt a beard, but I HATE how facial hair feels, and stubble, so I do the same thing and nag saying not to try to be cute and kiss me unless he shaves. I think guys and hygiene don't mix well, he goes through spurts of being borderline metro to bum.