so my stepkid wants their license... Insurance will go up more than $500 per month (we have two brand new cars and have to carry high insurance levels because of my work) ... Not to mention we'd have to buy another car and WORRY plus gas is like $4 per gallon...
My husband says the kid can wait until they are 18 and do it on their own bc its so expensive and we live in a major city with public transportation...
Do you think its owed to kids to pay for all this?
I don't think you should put THAT much responsibility on a kid that is still in school, But, they should at least work enough to pay for their own gas. (I just went through this like, four years ago with my parents... lol) I didn't get a nice car, because I had to pay for it, and I paid for my gas and repairs since I was in high school still. They took care of my insurance for me... Just my opinion though..
My parents paid for my stuff... But they set money aside for it. My husband did everything for himself as his dad died when he was young and his mom barely got by... He says that having the kid pay for stuff thierself will make them appreciative... He's like there is nothing wrong with riding the school bus to school and the public bus to work and saving up if its really important
I just know that if it were my bio child I would pay everything, but am mixed bec I don't want to have to pay the extra ...
I do feel its the parents responsibility to at least buy the car for their kid. I mean, it doesn't have to be a NICE car... just a car. Just have them work to pay for their own gas and you could even make them pay for some of the insurance.
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I do feel its the parents responsibility to at least buy the car for their kid. I mean, it doesn't have to be a NICE car... just a car. Just have them work to pay for their own gas and you could even make them pay for some of the insurance.
I agree...
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I do feel its the parents responsibility to at least buy the car for their kid. I mean, it doesn't have to be a NICE car... just a car. Just have them work to pay for their own gas and you could even make them pay for some of the insurance.
I agree with this totally. If your Step Child is good in school and brings home A's I think the reward for a good job should be a car and then they can work to pay for their own gas and partial insurance. I think that's fair. You want him/her to be responsible but at the same time know that they are getting rewarded for good work.
if he/she is responsible and needs a car, than i don't see why not. but i agree with BrS - it doesn't have to be a nice car and you could totally make him/her contribute some insurance money and have them buy their own gas.
but what do you think - do you feel your stepkid deserves it?
Well, I love the kid, don't get me wrong...but the kid isn't exactly responsible. Responsibilities around the house = cleaning up their bathroom (we have a separate bath for us that we keep clean) clean their room, and take out trash. The kid doesn't even think he needs to do that!!! We will be like "the trash is full" and we get rolled eyes and the kid even says "Why don't you do it?" My husband will be like "hey the bathroom's dirty" and the kids like "you don't use it so does it matter?" Not to mention he ran into a tree with the lawnmower not too long ago when we were living in a rural area.
I have also gotten the "you're not my mom" which, I nipped in the bud when he wanted to go to the mall for something and I said "I'd take you but...I'm not your mom" and my husband backed me up.
We stay in a major city with mass transportation - there's a bus stop right outside our apartment door for crying out loud. A bus pass is like $40 a month or something (pretty cheap when you consider gas prices)...also, school bus picks kids up right at the apartment office...so...it's not like a car is pertinent to the child's getting around...they could get a job, get to and from work, SAFELY and much more economically.
Also, I have been driving for 9 years, never an at-fault accident and I used to drive 200 miles each day back and forth to work (100 miles each way) - and I have been rear ended twice in this city - There are lots of accidents in this city and a lot of uninsured drivers.
What I don't get is the sense of entitlement. The kid thinks that just because they were born, they are entitled to everything that they want. Doesn't think they need to work for it, or anything. I guess it would be different if they were more responsible, but I don't seeing dropping $14,000 per year on increases in insurance (That's the increase in our car, plus extra insurance on a car based on a 1995 Chevy Lumina with 200,000 miles on it - my first set of wheels)
Hubby had a savings accoutn set up for the kid, but his bio mom wiped it out -
Me, personally, if I ever have a kid I am going to put back $500 per month from birth until age 18. Things like car, car insurance, school trips (expensive ones like my trip to Japan when I was in 10th grade - not cheap ones like a kindergarden field trip to the planetarium), and college will come out of that. $500 with no interest each month grows to $60,000 by age 10. Add interest, and that is a lot of money. What the kid doesn't use for car, etc will go to college - and if they don't go to college then we keep the money (no sense in giving kids money if they aren't going to better themselves with it).
I just feel guilty if we don't do it, but at the same time don't see how financially it would work to our benefit. We have some goals that would be set back about 3 years if we were to fund this car thing.
Another thing is the whole drivers training thing and my husband says he's not driving with the kid and he's not touching my car either and I don't think that part of parenting is my responsibility. (my responsibility = roof over head, food in belly, nice to kid)
I just don't want the kid to think it's my fault he's not driving...
No my husband is the one who doesn't think he "deserves" to drive, but I am the one who feels guilty because everything was paid for by my parents for me. BUT!!! In my defense...gas was $1.50 a gallon and my mom owned her own business and I worked a lot helping her. I didn't get a paycheck, but I got a car and $20 gas money each week,.
My husband backs me up when the kid smarts off to me...he says "if you don't like it, we can find your mom and you can go stay with her..."
That's funny NashevilleDiva, because weren't you saying in a different thread how kids should pay for everything because they will appreciate it more, and parents shouldn't pay for everything for their kids. You said "I have found that when you do things on your own, without help, it is incredibly rewarding." If your step-son wanted a car (etc.) you wouldn't make him pay for it? Just seems like you've changed your position on things since 2 days ago.
If you actually took the time to read my posts (I know, it's difficult, they were long)...
I don't want to pay for this. I dont' know if I should want to pay for it. I would set money back for my own kid, but they would only get it under certain criteria. If the criteria weren't met, then the money would go back into my pocket.
Also, when I referred to paying your own way...I am talking about ADULTS (people over 18)that are totally capable of supporting themselves mooching off their parents while making unnecessary purchases such as handbags and designer clothing when they could be saving to live off on their own...not a 16 year old kid that still is your financial responsibility. A 16 year old cannot get a loan. A 16 year old cannot just go out and buy insurance. A 16 year old cannot take themselves to the DMV to take the driving test. A 16 year old usually doesn't have a checking account, credit/credit cards, or reaonsable means of making their own way. Most 16 year olds don't even have jobs when school is in session.
The whole thing is this: Is it required for the kid to drive? College is not REQUIRED, handbags are not REQUIRED...but sometimes it is REQUIRED to drive. Does the license fall into the general category of necessity or is it superflouous. Is it right to make him wait until he is an adult (18)?
I am not going to let the kid live with us after they turn 18 unless they pay rent, buy their own food, pay for everything themselves. There is a point where you need to be cut off, but where does that point lie?
When I have kids, I am going to match whatever they have saved up for their car. If they save $4,000, I will match that and give them $4,000. I won't be paying for their gas. They need to get a job and learn to be responsible.
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