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Old April 30th, 2008, 09:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Just wondering...

Do any of yall have boyfriends/husbands with kids from a previous relationship?

I just wanted to see if any of you guys ever had any problems? Nothing major, it just seems like I am not even here sometimes & my boyfriends son can do/say whatever he wants to me and get away with it... And, we had an incident tonight that really got to me...

I've had a few people tell me how hard it is to get into a relationship with someone who already has a child, so I just wanted to get some feedback if any of you guys have ever been in this situation...

Thanks.
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Old April 30th, 2008, 10:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just wondering...

Hey, Daniellelynn. I am married and my Husband has an 8 year old daughter, she was 3 when I met him. I will tell you this, if we get divorced I won't do this again. My Step Daughter does get away with small things sometimes but nothing serious because I do dicispline her myself, punishments, so she doesn't try to push it too much. My main problem has been his Daughter's Mother, all I tell my friends is if they think they love someone and they have a child give it a few years. Then they will see if they can really deal with the situation or not. Sometimes it's really hard. If I wasn't married to him I know of at least 3 times I would have broken up with him, lol.
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Old May 1st, 2008, 03:27 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just wondering...

I am sorry...
That is one reason why I don't believe I could ever marry a man that already has children. (I am not saying that I would "never" do it, I just think it would drive me insane!) There are a lot of women out there that do just fine with it...I guess it depends on the situation.
My DH and I were not married before or had children from previous relationships when we got married...thank goodness!
We have two children together and I could not imagine us getting a divorce and having to let them go for a weekend with another woman that might be mean to them, yikes!

I hope my happy marriage and family are together forever...but we never know what tomorrow may bring. So for now I am very thankful for my family.

Best of Luck ladies!
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Old May 1st, 2008, 04:32 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just wondering...

Well thankfully neither my bf or I have kids, lol! I agree with Zombiegirl, I don't think I could be with someone who has had kids with someone else. He'd be around their mom (his ex) and I wouldn't wanna deal with that. Plus, I think I'd get jealous...because to have kids with someone (sometimes) the relationship had to mean SOMETHING to them, ya know.
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Old May 1st, 2008, 05:55 AM   #5 (permalink)
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My husband has two kids with his ex wife. The one of them lives with mom, and the other lives with us. It was such a hostile situation with the mom that it really turned tragic and now the child that lives with us refuses to see her, and the mom ran off with the other child and we haven't seen/heard from them in at least two years. It's really sad...

They had been divorced for four or five years when I came along, but after we got married she freaked out becuase all of a sudden there was another woman in the house and I think she always kind of hoped they would get back together. When all hope is gone, people do desperate things.

There's a way you can have a amicable relationship with the ex, but that is only when they have moved on as well as your husband has moved on and all feelings are dead.

I love my husband with all my heart, but the reason that we work is because he puts our relationship first and foremost. I don't think we will have kids together, but if we did and then we went our separate ways, I wouldn't freak out like his ex did. I'd put the past in the past and move on and do what was best for the child.
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Old May 1st, 2008, 06:12 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just wondering...

Ever listen to Dr. Laura or read her books? I would start there.
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Old May 1st, 2008, 11:44 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just wondering...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zombiegirl View Post
I am sorry...
That is one reason why I don't believe I could ever marry a man that already has children. (I am not saying that I would "never" do it, I just think it would drive me insane!) There are a lot of women out there that do just fine with it...I guess it depends on the situation.
My DH and I were not married before or had children from previous relationships when we got married...thank goodness!
We have two children together and I could not imagine us getting a divorce and having to let them go for a weekend with another woman that might be mean to them, yikes!

I hope my happy marriage and family are together forever...but we never know what tomorrow may bring. So for now I am very thankful for my family.

Best of Luck ladies!
I do wish that happiness and a very long life with your Hubby. I wish all the best for everyone. My Step Daughter's Mother is simply crazy and I am happy you don't have to deal with that. She has tried to break into my house, abuses my step Daughter because she loves me and among other reasons, calls around the clock for nothing and then some. Hubby had to have a restraining order against her. She has hit on me! I mean DRAMA, Ladies. Sometimes I look at Hubby and can not imagine waking up and not seeing his face and then other times his face drives me crazy, lol. Depends on the day.
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Old May 1st, 2008, 11:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just wondering...

Quote:
Originally Posted by NashvilleDiva_83 View Post
My husband has two kids with his ex wife. The one of them lives with mom, and the other lives with us. It was such a hostile situation with the mom that it really turned tragic and now the child that lives with us refuses to see her, and the mom ran off with the other child and we haven't seen/heard from them in at least two years. It's really sad...

They had been divorced for four or five years when I came along, but after we got married she freaked out becuase all of a sudden there was another woman in the house and I think she always kind of hoped they would get back together. When all hope is gone, people do desperate things.

There's a way you can have a amicable relationship with the ex, but that is only when they have moved on as well as your husband has moved on and all feelings are dead.

I love my husband with all my heart, but the reason that we work is because he puts our relationship first and foremost. I don't think we will have kids together, but if we did and then we went our separate ways, I wouldn't freak out like his ex did. I'd put the past in the past and move on and do what was best for the child.
It's so sad that your Husband hasn't seen his other child in 2 years. That is so so sad and I feel sorry for the both of you and the one who lives with you, to not see your sibling for years has to be painful. The sad thing about my situation, ladies, is that my Husband treats me like a queen and will do anything and everything for me. I don't get jealous because the simple reality is, as tacky as it is, him and his ex were having fun, nothing serious and then she got pregnant. She hid from him that she had 2 other children and now she had 5 with 3 Fathers, lives off of Social Services and is just a mess. If my Husband and I don't work it will be because of me getting sick of her, not him, he is wonderful, I get angry with him because I wish he was more picky about who he was with when he was 20.
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Old May 1st, 2008, 12:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just wondering...

Well, it is sad, but for me I don't miss the child that much (only knew them a year and the whole year it was nothing but problems with the mom) and then the situation was too complicated and I think both kids have more stability in their lives not being held witness to fighting all the time ... idk... it's always difficult when your hubby has a past.
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