Does every girl go through this?

Alicia · March 26th, 2008, 03:54 PM

Do you ever go through times where you are not happy with the way you look? Like do you ever find something about yourself that you aren't happy with or you get stressed out more about some imperfection? Sometimes I'm completely happy with myself and other times I'm not.

First, when I was youmger I wanted to dye my hair blonde. I felt very different in school being like the only Asian girl (well, i'm only half korean). And it was like blondes with blue eyes were given more attention - though not that i was jealous because blondes are beautiful too. I guess I just wanted to be more like them. But anyways, after going to college, that totally changed as people were more mature and actually intrigued by my ethnicity. So this was just a phase I went though and I have never wanted to dye my hair blonde since then. Even though blonde hair is attractive, I'm quite happy with my dark long hair

But the problem now is when I see a really thin girl I compare myself and think "well, i need to lose weight to look like that". And I don't mean it in a jealous way or anything. I guess I'm just really hard on myself and I am constantly comparing myself to what I think is "perfect" and then I end up thinking I'm not good enough the way I am. And especially seeing models that are so tiny and like a size triple zero - it makes me feel like i should strive to look like that. And it doesn't help when my boyfriend gawks over these types of girls...

I'm 5'4" and a size 4,5,or 6 depending on the brand and style. And lately I'm unhappy and feel like I should join the Size Zero Club. But other times I like having a little bit of curve and ass, lol. The only thing I like is my chest, though sometimes I even get fed up with that becaus it can be hard to button a top around that area. But I guess I am just not where I want to be. It's so hard to lose weight though, and especially since I love food and hate to exercise (and i'm not trying to complain because i know that cutting down and exercising are needed).

Anyways, my bf told me that every girl goes through not liking something about herself. Is it true or is it just me?

JessLR · March 26th, 2008, 04:08 PM

You're not alone!! I go through those "I don't like the way I look" type phases! One minute, you don't like the way you look, then you do. I've totally been there. A bad make-up day can trigger that feeling for me, lol.

But I wouldn't want to be a size 0 (sorry to anyone who is!). A size zero for someone who isn't 12 just looks weird, IMHO. Hell, I haven't been a size 0 since the 6th grade (almost 7 years ago, I think). But just hang in there and love yourself!!

VivaLaJuicy · March 26th, 2008, 04:57 PM

I think every girl dislikes something about themselves....

I'm a size 5... I'm a medium girl... My sister, is a size 0 or even smaller... and just the way I struggle to find that perfect pair of jeans.... she struggles in the same way, to find the perfect pair of jeans that aren't baggy, but instead, fit!

susieq · March 26th, 2008, 05:09 PM

ya... i am pretty sure we all go through this. i've been kinda crazy about my weight - and my boyfriend HATES when i am upset about how i look. however, i have been noticing that i think my issues with myself is borderline mental...as in i probably need some help because it's not normal concerns. i've been anorexic and find myself slipping in and out of that - i am 5"4, 120lbs. this is a healthy weight and everyone tells me so - but just about a little over a year ago i was 102lbs and was being told that i looked really sick. but no matter what people said - i was so happy!!! i think it's mostly an illness for me because i still truly don't believe people tell me i look good because they are honest - i see it as "oh...they are just trying to say something nice"...

so sweetheart - we all go through it - and trust me - some worse than others.

plus men don't like size zero girls!!! if they had them - they would hate them. my boyfriend adores my butt, and he's not even a butt man!! haha. apparently i've turned him into one.

Alicia · March 26th, 2008, 05:42 PM

^^^oh i know my boyfriend would rather have a tiny size zero girl than a normal size like myself. i can tell by the comments he's made and especially when he drools over these anorexic looking models. and i also do not believe what he and other people tell me about me looking good - because i don't all together feel that i do.

the only way to fix my problem is to do something about it. i'm sick and tired of going back and forth on how i look. i know that if i lost some weight, i'd be much happier with the way i look. its just really up to me now. ha, i'll keep everyone posted on my progress...

but i'm relieved to know that i'm not a freak and that other girls go through the same...

Maeveyblue · March 26th, 2008, 06:59 PM

We all go through it. I've gained 15 pounds in the last 2 months due to stress and I feel awful in clothes. And forget feeling sexy in front of my dh. He always tells me I'm beautiful and I tell him to cut it out, he's getting lucky regardless.

THE-GUY · March 26th, 2008, 09:34 PM

GUys go through that too Btw. If you dont like the way you look...CHANGE IT!!

Alicia · March 26th, 2008, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE-GUY

If you dont like the way you look...CHANGE IT!!

I AM....thank you very much!!!!!

susieq · March 27th, 2008, 07:12 AM

ya - you should change it. as of last week i've made my commitment to go to the gym after work - plus the boyfriend kept bitching that he was paying for my membership when i'd never go. haha. so i've been really good with that. i've been eating Weight Control oatmeal for breakfast everyday. i quit smoking. and this morning i went to the grocery store to buy a healthy (and surprisingly cheap) lunch instead of getting stuck ordering an over-priced grilled cheese down the street.

amazing - i got a bag of Peach Mango Paradise chips, a bottle of Green Tea, a frozen lunch with 290 calories, a banana, a box of 10 oatmeals and (i was bad...) jewish chocolate covered jellies for ONLY $12!!! seriously - i spend ATLEAST $9 on my lunch when I eat at the place down the street and the food always sucks and i never know what the calorie count is.

so just a little heads up - it is awesome to go to the grocery store instead of a deli.

boysRsmelly · March 27th, 2008, 07:32 AM

I've struggled with my appearance since I was a teenager. I hate my nose! LOL! But back then, I was really skinny and I wore glasses. People would always tell me what a beanpole I was. Then, my boobies finally decided to catch up with the rest of me when I was 19. Sheesh... 19.

And I started wearing contacts when I was 16. Anyways, I go through phases now where I think I look alright and then I don't think I look good at all.

I hated being so skinny when I was younger, but now I feel like I'm fat. Guess I can never win, huh?
Don't worry Alicia! You're SO not alone!

susieq · March 27th, 2008, 07:40 AM

btw Alicia - i'd talk to your boyfriend. i dated this guy who was ... well i don't really know if i was happy or not. i was spoiled by him and he did act like he loved me a lot - however he'd always throw comments out there like "wow...blondes are so hot" (I was brunette) or things about other people's girlfriends being hot or just googling over other women...

we broke up.i realized that he made me try so hard to be someone else!! even though i don't even think he meant to make me feel like crap - i did. so really...maybe talk to your boyfriend and let him know that it is bothering you (clearly).

daniC23 · March 27th, 2008, 07:45 AM

I've been feeling the same way lately, feeling completely horrible about myself. I have always been really tiny, the most I ever weighed was 114 when I was about 13 or 14 then I got really skinny (never grown since about 7th grade, I'm 5'1) But i lost a lot of weight not trying to at all, I eat alot and my dad was worried but it was just my body changing. For years until I was about 17 I was never over 100 pounds, but I was healthy, always eating, and not too thin at all. I have been a size 0 since I was in middle school, but now I feel like I keep gaining weight. I was on the verge of a serious crying breakdown last week when I realized that I'm gaining weight again. I know people always say they either strive to be a 0 or hate it, but for me its that I feel im getting huge even though I know I'm not. I dont like the feeling of possibly having to buy bigger clothes, especially when summer is right around the corner. Its very frustrating, and I have stomach problems so I keep up on eating as well as I can or I'll be sick. I just need to get back into working out, i would just love to be toned, not loose weight, just not flabby by my cruise in July (hopefully before then too!)

Alicia · March 27th, 2008, 09:17 AM

Susie- I have talked to him and his response is always the same - "I'm a guy and guys check out other girls". I also don't think he is doing it intentionally but it bothers the heck ouf of me.

I'm thinking about telling him I want a break until I'm more comfortable with myself. It probably wouldn't bother me as much anymore if I was where I wanted to be.

boysRsmelly · March 27th, 2008, 10:06 AM

Alicia, a lot of guys are like that. My husband purposely flips through the channels trying to find something that had nudity in it. Hehe... I always laugh when it ends up being a shot of some guy's bare butt! ROFL! He doesn't mean anything by it though... its just the way he is.

susieq · March 27th, 2008, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alicia

I'm thinking about telling him I want a break until I'm more comfortable with myself. It probably wouldn't bother me as much anymore if I was where I wanted to be.

my best friend just did that with her 5 yr relationship! i think it's good for the both of them though.

i don't know if i'd say it's a "normal guy thing". yes...a guy can make a comment or so but with my boyfriend he's just not like that. I guess i'm lucky but when I would ask him he just looks at me and says "sus...you know i'm picky. i was never a guy that was into random girls. i knew exactly what i wanted, and now i have it". i guess it's true - he's very detailed about everything he does. i can barely get him to name someone famous that we would agree on that if he met and had sex with, I would be okay with it (mine is Brad Pitt or Beckham...but the boyfriend hasn't agreed yet...).

what's interesting also is that i've seen right before my eyes girls just go insane for him. i don't ever really get jealous...well sometimes...but i've gotten used to it. so it's not like he can't get these pretty girls, he knows he can, it's just that he rather not waste his time gushing over them. I dunno...he's a rarity I guess.