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Old September 12th, 2007, 10:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default help! advice for wedding gift needed

so okay i'm only 22.. and my friend (who is now 23) is getting married. yes... this is the beginning of the "all my friends are getting married" period of my life. she's the first one. we aren't CLOSE friends - used to be in middle school but we stopped hanging out in high school and after. she called me and asked me to be her bridesmaid - i felt bad and said yes.

now i got the bridal shower/bachelorette gifts all done and over with. picking up the dress today. etc. etc. etc.

question is now... how much $$ do i give to her from my boyfriend and i? she knows i have to travel a total of 10 hours to get there and back. she knows i've been unemployed for the past 4 months. so... i was thinking $50 each. i don't think it's at a very expensive place either.

HELP! we leave tomorrow night to get there. ugh and i've been SO LAZY. it's almost 2pm and i just got out of a leisurely bath.
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Old September 12th, 2007, 11:24 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

You're just giving money? I got tons of money for my wedding... but some people who you thought would be giving more seemed a bit stingy (e.g. my husband's aunt gave us $20 ). But then some people who you don't expect to give you a lot, then they do (e.g. my mom's friend that I barely know... she gave us a $50 gift certificate. Oh, and my husband's other aunt bought us something that we know was at least $150). So... it's really hard to say I guess.
Sorry... I'm not helping very much am I? Well, if it makes you feel any better... my maid of honor didn't give me anything.
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Old September 12th, 2007, 12:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

I hear ya! All of my friends are married xcept for me . For each of their weddings I picked something off the bridal registry - usually crystal. But I think your gift of $50 per is very generous considering you havent talked to her since middleschool, plus she knows your situation of being unemployed for 4 months.
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Old September 12th, 2007, 12:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

ya money is quite benign however... honestly... we can ALL USE MONEY! haha. especially once her bills start rolling in - i'm sure she'd rather have the cash than a $50 glass vase. that's my opinion. for her bridal shower i kicked in $39 with the other bridesmaids for a wine fridge and then on my own gave her a set of wine glasses, a bottle of local wine, local chocolate sauce, local jam and local maple syrup (thought it would be cute to give her all Vermont products... ehh i duno!)

so i mean i already got her something off her registry.
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Old September 12th, 2007, 03:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

Well... if you want to give her money then go ahead. But I agree with HC, $50 from each of you is very generous. Especially since you haven't been all that close for quite a few years and I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't really know her.
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Old September 12th, 2007, 04:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

hmmm okay so how about $75 from us as a couple? I could sure save my boyfriend the $25. i just didn't know if $50 each was too low...
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Old September 12th, 2007, 04:33 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

I think $75-$100 is a good amount. I mean like what you were saying, havent seen her for years, and you have been out of work.
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Old September 12th, 2007, 04:47 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by susieq View Post
hmmm okay so how about $75 from us as a couple? I could sure save my boyfriend the $25. i just didn't know if $50 each was too low...
I think $75 is good... like I said, I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't really know her at all. He'd pretty much be a tag-along to the wedding right (since you're in the bridal party, I mean)?

I guess it just depends on where you live. When I was on a wedding forum, there were girls on their saying that so and so gave them $100 and so and so gave them $200...
and here I am ----> Because no one around here gave me that much money for my wedding (as cash, there were a few gifts that seemed expensive... but maybe they got them on sale or something LOL!)... well, except for my parents. So either my husband's family is really cheap... or its a local thing
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Old September 12th, 2007, 07:52 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

I think $75 is good to give from both of you... especially since you aren't CLOSE to her and you've already invested into her wedding.... dress, trip, etc.
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Old September 13th, 2007, 08:09 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

thanks ladies. the wedding is in long island where i grew up and i know it's a $$ kind of place (which is why i moved out - after dating so many stuck up money obsessed guys - it gets boring - but i did keep all my tiffany & co jewelry from them!!). haha. i figured i'll ask my mom and see what she thinks bc she has a wedding like 10 years ago - long time haha but still maybe she knows the average amt people gave.

i am leaving today but i have SO MUCH to do!! ack! i have a massage, a facial, gotta go to my new job to spec out my computer, we're bringing Cajun (my cat) with us so my mom can babysit him... aha my boyfriend thinks i'm insane for treating him like a child but screw that!! right now he's the closest thing to a child for me.
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Old September 18th, 2007, 06:24 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: help! advice for wedding gift needed

okay so the wedding was beautiful - i was PMSing so i totally burst into tears where i couldn't even talk!! hahaha. i ended up giving $150... a little cheap but oh well... we don't have much $$ right now!

oh and i caught the bouquet!! hahaha... my boyfriend is fearing for his life now since my friend (the bride) caught a bouquet 3 years ago! hehe.
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