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  1. #1
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default I figured it out...

    You guys remember when I was talking about my grandma? She's at a nursing home now because her husband is an idiot who thinks he's really a doctor. You see... she was having some health issues and instead of listening to a REAL doctor, she let her husband "treat" her with a how arsenal of herbal and vitamin supplements. Well... the truth is, those supplements came too late and may have even made her condition worse. He was making her take about 4000mg of pure coral calcium a day because he thought it would "undo" her osterporosis (sp?). Well... she ended up having calcium deposits all over her body, including in her heart valves. Her heart valves were so calcified that the doctor who did a surgery to replace them had ALOT of trouble getting them out. He said he'd never seen heart valves that bad in all of the hundreds of surgeries he's done. Anyways, calcium flaked off into her blood stream and she ended up having 6 strokes. Her husband went against her health directive (she had requested that they do not keep her alive on machines) and had the hospital keep her alive. She can't move... she can't talk... she can't feed herself or go to the bathroom. There isn't much hope for recovery.
    Anyway... fast forward to my mother. We as a family had never really cared much for our grandma. She disowned my brother and I when we were children because she was angry with my dad (her son). My mom never liked her mother-in-law... in fact, she pretty much hated her. My grandma played no role in our lives at all when I was a kid. It wasn't until her second husband died (my dad's stepdad) and she remarried did she try to reach out to us. In my opinion, it was too little too late. Well since all of this drama with my grandma's health... my mom has been doing nothing but stressing over the situation. She has practically given herself an ulcer from "worrying". She goes to visit my grandma every day... EVERY DAY! And she's constantly on my butt for not going to visit her very often. So why this sudden change of heart? I know my mom... she is one to hold a grudge to her grave! But I found something out on Friday. It turns out that my dad has his name on one of my grandma's accounts at a credit union. The money belonged to his grandfather and was supposedly always meant for my dad. Well... I'm not sure exactly how much money is there... but apparently its enough to pay off my parent's mortgage. Hmmmmm...
    I've come to the conclusion that my mom just wants that money and she's afraid that my grandma's husband is going to try to spend it before my parents can get their hands on it. I think that's why she has been acting so off the wall lately.

    Sorry this is so long... I just needed to get this off my chest and I'm not supposed to tell anyone. Hehe... but you guys don't count because you don't really know me.

  2. #2
    *The TBF Elite* Marissa806's Avatar
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    Default Re: I figured it out...

    I know how you feel. I went through a HORRIBLE situation when my grandma was on her death bed. I was never close to my grandma... and I didn't even go see her when she was dying. My grandma treated me HORRIBLE. She was so mean to me, and disowned me.. because she thought I was spoiled. My mom didn't talk to her Mom in years until she was dying... which was 3 days before she died. But it wasn't for the money... it was for her own peace of mind. They hadn't talked in years... and it was kinda of a letting go of the past, and say goodbye type of thing. Now my Aunt (my mom's sister is vicious)... she got a life insurance policy on my grandma.. and made a KILLING off her death. Some people it's for the money... and some people it's guilt. But I know how you feel... my Mom still to this day can't believe I didn't go see my grandma one last time. But when someone treated you so horrible... there is absolutely no feelings there at all.. and still isn't to this day. I know that sounds horrible and I sound like a heartless person... but she was VICIOUS to me.

  3. #3
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: I figured it out...

    In regards to my mom's motives... I'm thinking 10% might be guilt and 90% is definately about the money. My mom can sugar coat it all she wants... I know that she doesn't really feel anything for the woman. Especially not enough to give herself an ulcer over it! To make matters worse, all she does is talk bad about my grandma's husband. Yes... he is a smelly old man who is known to be a womanizer and a male gold digger. He has done nothing but find ways to spend my grandma's money since they got married just a few years ago. He actually stole $20,000 from my grandma's bank account to pay off a debt for siding on his house. This was something he decided to waste money on before they were married and then he used her money to pay off the balance. My grandma was so furious with him when she found out that she wanted a divorce... but after going to church a couple of times, she decided not to go through with it. Did they guilt her with her wedding vows? I'm assuming so...
    Anyway, I know that my grandma's husband is not a very nice guy... but my mom has no room to talk because she's just as bad!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I figured it out...

    hey, sorry to hear about your grandma. a couple months back, my grandma had cancer and they said she only had like 2 weeks to live. well, she has fully recovered now and i am thankful for that. while my grandma was sick, i didnt visit her because for years my mother told me how badly my grandmother (my dad's mom) treated her. and at the time, i sided with my mother. but come to find out, my mother exaggerated what she told me and the fact is that my grandma never treated her badly. and recently i just learned how screwed up my mother is and i wont even talk about it here. and as for the money thing, all i can say is that its horrible how money changes everything. i have had plenty of experiences with that. in fact my bf's mood changes completely (for the better) when there is money involved and it is not his...if that makes sense. well, hopefully things work out and try not to think about your mom caring about the money because you will make yourself sick over it. hang in there...

  5. #5
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    how nice your post

  6. #6
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: I figured it out...

    How nice who's post?

  7. #7
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: I figured it out...

    OMG! My parents just talked to a lawyer and he said that they are in some deep sh*t here! Apparently my grandma put my dad down as power of attorney because she was afraid her husband was going to spend all of her money. Well... since her and her husband have not been married long enough (by whatever law this lawyer was looking at) my parents are the one's responsible for paying for my grandma's care and taking care of her debts. To further complicate things, her husband has put her name on a TON of debts that he had prior to their marriage. Since her husband went against her health directive and kept her alive... there's no telling how long she will live in a nursing home until she actually does die (and all of this time will be spent as a vegetable for the most part because there isn't much hope for recovery). So my parents will have to use the money that my dad's name is on to pay down her debts and pay for her care at a nursing home. My parents are afraid that once her money is gone though... her husband is going to divorce her and leave my dad completely obligated to pay for her expenses. My parents are afraid of losing their house and everything because they cannot afford to pay all of these bills of her's (they are in debt up to their eyeballs as it is). The lawyer that they talked to said that it was entirely possible and that they may have to go to court over it to try to hold my grandma's husband at least half-way liable. My grandma's husband is such a rotten man... he'd totally do it too!
    Anyone know anything about the laws in this situation? I can't really ask anyone because my mom told me I couldn't tell anyone about this.

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