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  1. #16
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    Okay... let's try a different approach. I want you to list all of the good things about your bf or wonderful things he has done for you. I want SPECIFICS here... don't be vague about it. Then do the same thing with all the bad stuff. Kind of like a pros and cons list. You have to admit... the way you have been describing him leads all of us to believe that the guy is a total pig. So I want you to prove us all wrong... and if you can't, then perhaps you need to start listening to us. Sound fair?

  2. #17
    \(^.^)/ Jennifer's Avatar
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    Quote Originally Posted by purse-aholic* View Post
    i need to know what you think about my bf and his myspace. on his mysapce, it says "in a relationship" but his profile still says "i am single and i live alone." and he also still has his email posted in case if anyone wants to hit him up. he doesnt mention anything about me in his profile, but there is a pic of us in his album. he says that he still says hes single just for fun, to see if any girls would be interested in him. is this normal? and then i went on his page and i saw that he added these really hot girls and i asked him about it and he started to laugh right in my face. he said that he added them on purpose to see how insecure i am and how long it would take me to see that he added them. am i being too paranoid? i just thought that we were way beyond all of this being that i live in his house...maybe i am just too sensitive...please dont be annoyed with me. i just really need your opinion. thanks.

    I am probably the worst person to give advice on this matter.. but here we go...

    First I am sorry to hear about what your going through. If it were me I would sit down and ask "WHY"? He said "on purpose" to see how "insecure" you are? What a f'er (im sorry). But if my bf said to me that he added a bunch of girls only to see if they are interested in him, then I would take that as a hint that, you know, maybe he's just not happy in the relationship. Ask him what he really wants. Where he sees you guys in 3 years - 6 years etc. good luck

  3. #18
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I am probably the worst person to give advice on this matter.. but here we go...

    First I am sorry to hear about what your going through. If it were me I would sit down and ask "WHY"? He said "on purpose" to see how "insecure" you are? What a f'er (im sorry). But if my bf said to me that he added a bunch of girls only to see if they are interested in him, then I would take that as a hint that, you know, maybe he's just not happy in the relationship. Ask him what he really wants. Where he sees you guys in 3 years - 6 years etc. good luck
    I totally agree with you! That's why I wanted her to say what it was that made her think this guy was so great. Because everything we have heard so far is what an a-hole he is and everyone is wondering why she is still defending him and tries to make it seem like its HER fault that the guy is a jerk. ::sigh:: Well obviously she knows deep down that this is not a healthy situation... otherwise she never would have asked us in the first place. I just hope she does the little exercise I proposed so that she can see that this guy has probably done more harm than good and that she needs to remove herself from the situation.

  4. #19
    i love myself bagluvah's Avatar
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    i second to that!! everyone who posted here, i totally agree with all of your advices

  5. #20
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    I agree boysRsmelly. Make a list of why you are with him and why you should leave.

  6. #21
    Hello! LikityKity's Avatar
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    Sorry girls, but I think listing the pros about this guy is probably counter-productive. This seems to be a relationship where they are feeding off each other emotionally in an unhealthy way. The only good reason for her to stay with him in spite of what we have learned would be that he is giving her a roof over her head that she would not be able to get any other way. Seriously, living under a bridge or in a cardboard box are the only alternatives I can think of that are worse than staying in this situation. And I'm pretty sure she has other options, since she has a father who cares about her and wants her to move.

    Purse_aholic, I don't mean to be harsh, or make assumptions about your life; please forgive me if I'm getting carried away. I just firmly believe that women should be empowered and not be afraid to be alone. Love yourself and take care of yourself, don't depend on another person for emotional comfort. You're leaning on a crutch that's extremely unstable. It sounds like your father loves you and wants what's best for you, don't trade that for a creep who makes you feel bad! If there's anyone in life you can count on, it's your family.

    Again, I apologize if I've gone too far, but I feel that this is the best advice I could give with the information you've provided. I only want to help.

    Don't give up on romantic love! There are soooo many people out there you have yet to meet, including good, trustworthy men who will treat you well. But you won't be able to meet them if you stay with the wrong guy.

  7. #22
    Rising Bag Star
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    Quote Originally Posted by LikityKity View Post
    Sorry girls, but I think listing the pros about this guy is probably counter-productive. This seems to be a relationship where they are feeding off each other emotionally in an unhealthy way. The only good reason for her to stay with him in spite of what we have learned would be that he is giving her a roof over her head that she would not be able to get any other way. Seriously, living under a bridge or in a cardboard box are the only alternatives I can think of that are worse than staying in this situation. And I'm pretty sure she has other options, since she has a father who cares about her and wants her to move.

    Purse_aholic, I don't mean to be harsh, or make assumptions about your life; please forgive me if I'm getting carried away. I just firmly believe that women should be empowered and not be afraid to be alone. Love yourself and take care of yourself, don't depend on another person for emotional comfort. You're leaning on a crutch that's extremely unstable. It sounds like your father loves you and wants what's best for you, don't trade that for a creep who makes you feel bad! If there's anyone in life you can count on, it's your family.

    Again, I apologize if I've gone too far, but I feel that this is the best advice I could give with the information you've provided. I only want to help.

    Don't give up on romantic love! There are soooo many people out there you have yet to meet, including good, trustworthy men who will treat you well. But you won't be able to meet them if you stay with the wrong guy.
    uh, no that is untrue. as a matter of fact i am always welcome to go and live with my dad. he always tells me to come home. i just cant let go of him because underneath all the crap, i see a good person. anyway, thank you all for your advice and the thoughts you put into it. you have all been great supporters...

  8. #23
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    Likity - I wasn't trying to be counter-productive. I just want her to really take a hard look at the situation. I'm sure if she made out a list, she would probably come up with more "cons" than "pros" if she was really brutally honest about the situation. But I suppose she could just stay in a state of denial and a list would only help her justify why she stays in the relationship.

    Purse - Please, please take my advice and take a really good look at the situation. If you truely believe that this guy is worth fighting for then you need to sit down with him and have a serious talk. If he refuses to listen and work on the relationship then RUN! If he really is good person, like you say he his, then he should be willing to try a little harder with your relationship. I really do wish you luck! Just remember what we have all told you, okay?

  9. #24
    Hello! LikityKity's Avatar
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    No worries, Boysrsmelly! I didn't mean to say you all aren't trying to help, too. I just don't think she's in the state of mind to think about pros and cons honestly. She said herself she's blinded by her feelings for him. Hope things work out!

  10. #25
    i love myself bagluvah's Avatar
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    Default Re: probably a stupid topic...

    yeah, i both agree with you boys and likitykity, she is too blinded by love i hope she wakes up from her deep slumber!! this is the only bottom line, if a guy makes you unhappy and hurts you emotionally, then he is not the right one for you. that's it no more explaining =) well that's my opinion.

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