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  1. #1
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    Default Boyfriend Advice

    hey everyone,

    i need your advice about what my bf thinks about my weight. ever sice we have been together (almost nine months) my bf has wanted me to get in shape and have a body like carmen electra. im not fat or anything, but i need to lose a few pounds to get back to where i was before so i am happy with myself. my bf has somewhat of a gut and isn't even in the best of shape. the other day he pushed me to go on the treadmill and i did, and he never went on - we both agreed to get in shape and exercise. instead, he just played his xbox game and he kept saying he was going to go on and didnt.
    when we watch tv, he always likes to watch shows with girls who have nice bodies and i feel like im not good enough or something...is that just what guys do? i get mad when he watches these shows and when he makes comments about the girls on tv, but i try not to anymore. one night we got into a huge fight and he grabbed my stomach and said 'do you think im attracted to all of this fat?", even though my stomach isnt bad. but we were really mad at each other and he did apologize. maybe i should setup a myspace account to see if he will take the bait. but he does say that he loves me the way i am...right now anyways. he says he wants a trim wife and he probably wouldn't marry me like this. i dont know, maybe i am being too sensitive or something. i think everyone has a down point with their weight in their lifetime, and mine is right now. i mean i use to be soooo gorgeous but now i have gained weight and i feel like crap. but i am trying to lose weight though.

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    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Okay... my first thoughts about your situation is that your boyfriend is a total jerk! But when I think about it... he sounds ALOT like my husband. The wanting to watch shows that have great looking girls in them... that is totally a guy thing. In fact, my husband is always flipping through the channels looking for shows that say they have nudity in them. Of course, I always laugh when it ends up being some guy's butt!!! My husband also likes his video games and has a little bit of a belly on him. He will poke fun at my little pooch belly every once in a while... but I never take him seriously. I know he's just being a poop-head and I love him just the same. I guess, in your situation, you need to ask yourself if your boyfriend really means what he says. My husband NEVER said he would prefer a "trim" wife. And he's NEVER asked me if I thought he was attracted to "all this fat". That is probably the difference between your boyfriend and my husband. Sure my husband can be an complete ass sometimes... but I know he doesn't mean what he says because its always in a joking manner. I love him because of the way he is and I have been used to his childishness for many years now. IMO your boyfriend sounds more shallow than joking. Perhaps you need to sit down and have a talk with him about his attitude. At least I know that if my husband is poking fun at me... that he still loves me and really doesn't think I NEED to change the way I look. With your boyfriend, on the other hand, it doesn't seem that it is that way. Sorry if this is a tad bit harsh... but I think you need to take a step back and really look at your relationship.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by boysRsmelly View Post
    Okay... my first thoughts about your situation is that your boyfriend is a total jerk! But when I think about it... he sounds ALOT like my husband. The wanting to watch shows that have great looking girls in them... that is totally a guy thing. In fact, my husband is always flipping through the channels looking for shows that say they have nudity in them. Of course, I always laugh when it ends up being some guy's butt!!! My husband also likes his video games and has a little bit of a belly on him. He will poke fun at my little pooch belly every once in a while... but I never take him seriously. I know he's just being a poop-head and I love him just the same. I guess, in your situation, you need to ask yourself if your boyfriend really means what he says. My husband NEVER said he would prefer a "trim" wife. And he's NEVER asked me if I thought he was attracted to "all this fat". That is probably the difference between your boyfriend and my husband. Sure my husband can be an complete ass sometimes... but I know he doesn't mean what he says because its always in a joking manner. I love him because of the way he is and I have been used to his childishness for many years now. IMO your boyfriend sounds more shallow than joking. Perhaps you need to sit down and have a talk with him about his attitude. At least I know that if my husband is poking fun at me... that he still loves me and really doesn't think I NEED to change the way I look. With your boyfriend, on the other hand, it doesn't seem that it is that way. Sorry if this is a tad bit harsh... but I think you need to take a step back and really look at your relationship.

    thank you so much for your advice. so , your husband never tells you that he wants you to lose weight? i wish my bf didnt have an issue with my weight because it really stresses me out. its not easy losing weight, ya know?i dont understand why he cant just see how my good heart makes up for the few extra pounds. oh, and if i sit down and try to talk with him about his attitude....that'll cause A LOT of trouble.

  4. #4
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    No... he never really tells me to lose weight. He does often ask why it is we own a treadmill and a weight bench when nobody ever uses them. :rolleyes:
    I dunno... it sounds to me like perhaps your boyfriend is having some issues about his own appearance and he's taking it out on you to make himself feel better. By no means is this an excuse for his behavior though... because he should love you for who you are. It's one thing to think someone should start working out because they are concerned about that person... it's another thing if the person thinks someone should start working out because they feel they could never marry someone "with all that fat".
    You may be afraid to bring this up with him... but the fact that you are afraid of how he will react has to say something in itself. You should really take a look at the whole situation and decide whether this is really where you want to be.

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    i love myself bagluvah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    guess what girl, your bf is a total moron!! he should accept you for who you are and not how you look especially that you don't look bad and fat. what he does is put your self-esteem down and make you look down on yourself. there are more guys who will love you more and who deserves you

  6. #6
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by angelthelson View Post
    guess what girl, your bf is a total moron!! he should accept you for who you are and not how you look especially that you don't look bad and fat. what he does is put your self-esteem down and make you look down on yourself. there are more guys who will love you more and who deserves you
    Hehe... what I was thinking... but I was trying to be a little "nicer". Oh what the heck... you're right, he is a total jerk.

    purse-aholic*, sweetie, take our advice... if someone cannot appreciate you for who you are, then you should probably be looking elsewhere for someone who can. You will be much happier in the long run... trust me!

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    i love myself bagluvah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by boysRsmelly View Post
    Hehe... what I was thinking... but I was trying to be a little "nicer". Oh what the heck... you're right, he is a total jerk.

    purse-aholic*, sweetie, take our advice... if someone cannot appreciate you for who you are, then you should probably be looking elsewhere for someone who can. You will be much happier in the long run... trust me!
    yeah take our advice sweetie, we are both married and we know relationships LOL! we've been there, done that don't be too harsh on yourself, love yourself

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by boysRsmelly View Post
    Hehe... what I was thinking... but I was trying to be a little "nicer". Oh what the heck... you're right, he is a total jerk.

    purse-aholic*, sweetie, take our advice... if someone cannot appreciate you for who you are, then you should probably be looking elsewhere for someone who can. You will be much happier in the long run... trust me!
    i know you guys are right, but i do love him. i feel like i cant let go right now, and i feel like if he has a problem with my weight, then maybe other guys would too. but i am not going to stay at my current weight, though. i dont know...sometimes i feel like i am trapped. and ya know what the sad part is...i love him, all of him, even his little gut and all of his little imperfections because they are on HIM! if he stayed the way he is - like if he never got a six pack - i would still love him. i mean, i know he loves me because i am the first girl to ever live with him and the first that he ever truely loved. he is 10 years older than me but he acts 10 years younger at times...

    thanks for making me feel like who i am on the inside defeats a few extra pounds i put on.

  9. #9
    *The TBF Elite* Marissa806's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    My advice to you is... MEN ARE A**HOLES!!!! NEVER let a guy persuade you to do anything!!!! You need to things for YOU... not a guy!! He wants you to look like Carmen Electra! AHHH... YOU TELL HIM I SAID THIS... I'm in the entertainment industry... and I'll be honest... it's a VERY FAKE INDUSTRY!!! First of all... our pictures are airbrushed... yes they can shave off weight, and def. put in muscles here and there on pictures!! It's a special friend called ADOBE! Also... we hardly eat... it's a fear to gain weight... or we won't get WORK! Finally... celebrities like Carmen Electra have CHEFS and PERSONAL TRAINERS!!!!!! People think it's so easy to look like a celebrity... well it's not... unless you have TONS of money! She looks like that BECAUSE OF WORK!!! When I got my first modeling contract... when I was 13 years old... my agent told me...

    "marissa... yes your young.. but you need to lose weight... or I'm not sending your photos out for work"... so I starved myself and worked out so much! AT 13!!! Can you imagine what they say to her being in the spotlight? Your BF needs to get real!

    I say... be you!! Never let him say you need to look like a celebrity... because celebrities are not a reality... it's ALL FAKE! AHHH.. I hate when men do that!!!

    Be You... never be ANYONE ELSE... BUT YOU!!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Marissa806 View Post
    My advice to you is... MEN ARE A**HOLES!!!! NEVER let a guy persuade you to do anything!!!! You need to things for YOU... not a guy!! He wants you to look like Carmen Electra! AHHH... YOU TELL HIM I SAID THIS... I'm in the entertainment industry... and I'll be honest... it's a VERY FAKE INDUSTRY!!! First of all... our pictures are airbrushed... yes they can shave off weight, and def. put in muscles here and there on pictures!! It's a special friend called ADOBE! Also... we hardly eat... it's a fear to gain weight... or we won't get WORK! Finally... celebrities like Carmen Electra have CHEFS and PERSONAL TRAINERS!!!!!! People think it's so easy to look like a celebrity... well it's not... unless you have TONS of money! She looks like that BECAUSE OF WORK!!! When I got my first modeling contract... when I was 13 years old... my agent told me...

    "marissa... yes your young.. but you need to lose weight... or I'm not sending your photos out for work"... so I starved myself and worked out so much! AT 13!!! Can you imagine what they say to her being in the spotlight? Your BF needs to get real!

    I say... be you!! Never let him say you need to look like a celebrity... because celebrities are not a reality... it's ALL FAKE! AHHH.. I hate when men do that!!!

    Be You... never be ANYONE ELSE... BUT YOU!!
    well marissa, you are certainly the realest and most down to earth person in the biz. thank you for your kind words girl...

  11. #11
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Hey, I know your pain! I dated a guy once because I was totally in love with him. After awhile though, I started to realize what a jerk he was. I had actually dumped my previous boyfriend just so I could go out with this guy. But he started making remarks about my appearance. He actually rated me as a "7" on a scale of 1 to 10 because he thought I needed to get plastic surgery on my nose! Of course he refused to get a job and he did nothing but play Sim City all day. And for Valentine's Day, I ordered a heart shaped pizza for us... I had to pick it up by myself... then when I got home with it, do you know what he did? He took it from me and went straight to the computer! Then he made me sit there with the pizza box in my lap while he played Sim City and ate pizza! Um... HELLO?! Plus this guy never... and I mean NEVER... took his socks off for ANYTHING! Oh boy did that put a damper of our sex life! LOL! I know... I know... Too Much Info!
    Anyway, the point of this story is that after awhile I realized that this guy was a total jerk and that he cared about noone except himself. So I left him and I went back to my previous boyfriend. I had SO taken him for granted and I was SO lucky he took me back! And do you know why? Because that boyfriend later became my husband and I haven't looked back since! Sure he may be a poop-head sometimes... but I know that he loves me and that's all that really matters! :D

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by boysRsmelly View Post
    Hey, I know your pain! I dated a guy once because I was totally in love with him. After awhile though, I started to realize what a jerk he was. I had actually dumped my previous boyfriend just so I could go out with this guy. But he started making remarks about my appearance. He actually rated me as a "7" on a scale of 1 to 10 because he thought I needed to get plastic surgery on my nose! Of course he refused to get a job and he did nothing but play Sim City all day. And for Valentine's Day, I ordered a heart shaped pizza for us... I had to pick it up by myself... then when I got home with it, do you know what he did? He took it from me and went straight to the computer! Then he made me sit there with the pizza box in my lap while he played Sim City and ate pizza! Um... HELLO?! Plus this guy never... and I mean NEVER... took his socks off for ANYTHING! Oh boy did that put a damper of our sex life! LOL! I know... I know... Too Much Info!
    Anyway, the point of this story is that after awhile I realized that this guy was a total jerk and that he cared about noone except himself. So I left him and I went back to my previous boyfriend. I had SO taken him for granted and I was SO lucky he took me back! And do you know why? Because that boyfriend later became my husband and I haven't looked back since! Sure he may be a poop-head sometimes... but I know that he loves me and that's all that really matters! :D
    wow...i cant believe that happened on v-day...seriously, that is really bad! to think that he didnt care on a day where you should express your love for someone...pathetic! im glad to hear that you are happy with the love of your life now, though.
    Last edited by purse-aholic*; March 16th, 2007 at 05:47 PM.

  13. #13
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Hehe... well you know that sadest part about that guy I was dating. For Valentine's Day, my mom felt sorry for him because he didn't have any money. So she offered him $20 so he could buy me a little something. Wasn't she nice? Okay... so he gets a heart-shaped paperweight made out of rose quartz. Well, come to find out, he only paid $4 for my gift and he spent the other $16 on cigarettes! What a jerk!!!!

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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    that seriously makes me sick to my stomach. literally, it does. that is terrible...so sorry...but now you have someone who you are happy with,

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    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by purse-aholic* View Post
    that seriously makes me sick to my stomach. literally, it does. that is terrible...so sorry...but now you have someone who you are happy with,
    Yeah, I know!
    I was just sharing with you so that you knew what kinds of boyfriends I have had! LOL! When I look back on it now... it doesn't bother me so much. He's the one who was being pathetic... and I know I'm better than that! :D

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