Boyfriend Advice - Page 2 - Designer Handbag & Purse Chat.. The Bag Forum

purse-aholic* · March 16th, 2007, 05:50 PM

no doubt about that. you are way better than he is and i cant believe that your mom was nice enough to give him money for a v-day gift for you and he had the nerve to do that!

boysRsmelly · March 16th, 2007, 06:04 PM

What can I say? My mom is just a nice person like that. I think she just wanted me to be happy... although she was suspecting that he wasn't all that great this entire time!

VivaLaJuicy · March 17th, 2007, 11:27 AM

OK! Purse-aholic*.... this is some advice from Viva... First of all, your boyfriend is a complete Jerk.... I'm sorry if that's offensive, but we all know it's true! You've two have been together for quite a while and he should accept you for the way you are, obviously he's still there, so there must be an attraction.... You should talk to him and ask him, what is up with this weight issue.... and if he claims it really does bother him, then I suggest you take the big step and dump his ass.... there is no need to be with a guy who's just going to make you feel like shit all the time, you should be happy with your significant other not miserable!!! Just don't take guy b/s.... look at the way he is now and imagine how it would be if you all were to get married??!!! That's no fun! There are soo many guys that would appreciate a lady just the way she is.... In conclusion, you don't need to take this.... and good luck in whatever you do..... and I hope things can get better between you two!!!

angelthelson · March 17th, 2007, 07:41 PM

boys, good thing you broke up with that A**hole!! now you're happier than ever! me too good thing that i never ended up with my cheating ex! ohhh, purse, it's up to you =) whatever you decide, we will be happy for you

LikityKity · March 24th, 2007, 05:37 PM

Holy crap, I know I'm a bit delayed on this one (been working wayyy too much this week) but I have to comment.

YOU ARE NOT BEING OVERSENSITIVE. Grabbing your stomach and saying "you think I'm attracted to all this fat?" is ABUSIVE. That's the only word for it. It is emotional abuse. He sounds like a complete superficial jack@ss! He wants a trim wife and he won't marry you "like this"???! It's one thing if he wants you to exercise to be healthy, but because you're not trim enough for his asthetics, WTF? And on top of this, he's doesn't live up to his own standards?

Yes, all normal guys like to watch beautiful women on TV. But the good ones understand that beauty isn't the most important thing in a human being/partner. I can admire beautiful women on TV with my boyfriend because I know and he knows that even though they are nice to look at, we don't know who they are personally, and there's a good chance that we wouldn't even like to spend time with them anyway. If your bf is making you feel insecure with the things he says about those women, then he needs a reality check. What we see on TV is not how those people look when they roll out of bed in the morning, or when they are sick, or when they come home from a long day of work. So if he's making comments like "you should look like her!" then tell him to go f*ck himself!

I think I know the type of guy you're with, and I hope hope hope that you will just cut this guy out of your life. I'm sure there are reasons you're with him, but this is a good indicator that the foundations of your relationship are NOT HEALTHY. Please, don't be afraid to be alone and drop this creep. There are sooooo many people out there, you could be missing out on a really wonderful love. Good luck!

angelthelson · March 24th, 2007, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LikityKity

Holy crap, I know I'm a bit delayed on this one (been working wayyy too much this week) but I have to comment.

YOU ARE NOT BEING OVERSENSITIVE. Grabbing your stomach and saying "you think I'm attracted to all this fat?" is ABUSIVE. That's the only word for it. It is emotional abuse. He sounds like a complete superficial jack@ss! He wants a trim wife and he won't marry you "like this"???! It's one thing if he wants you to exercise to be healthy, but because you're not trim enough for his asthetics, WTF? And on top of this, he's doesn't live up to his own standards?

Yes, all normal guys like to watch beautiful women on TV. But the good ones understand that beauty isn't the most important thing in a human being/partner. I can admire beautiful women on TV with my boyfriend because I know and he knows that even though they are nice to look at, we don't know who they are personally, and there's a good chance that we wouldn't even like to spend time with them anyway. If your bf is making you feel insecure with the things he says about those women, then he needs a reality check. What we see on TV is not how those people look when they roll out of bed in the morning, or when they are sick, or when they come home from a long day of work. So if he's making comments like "you should look like her!" then tell him to go f*ck himself!

I think I know the type of guy you're with, and I hope hope hope that you will just cut this guy out of your life. I'm sure there are reasons you're with him, but this is a good indicator that the foundations of your relationship are NOT HEALTHY. Please, don't be afraid to be alone and drop this creep. There are sooooo many people out there, you could be missing out on a really wonderful love. Good luck!

just like i did, i dropped my cheating ex and found my hubby! im so happy!

VivaLaJuicy · March 24th, 2007, 07:38 PM

^^^ I agree with Likitykity and Angel... they both offer great advice.... (and everybody else in here too)

angelthelson · March 25th, 2007, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VivaLaJuicy

^^^ I agree with Likitykity and Angel... they both offer great advice.... (and everybody else in here too)

thanks viva!! its time to wake her up from her long slumber!!!! but, oh well whatever she decides on....we're just here to offer our advices

purse-aholic* · March 30th, 2007, 07:41 PM

so this is a update on how things are going with the bf. after thinking about the pros and cons i decided that my feelings for him are too strong to throw away. i love and care about him too much to end our relationship. we both sat down and had a long talk. i talked about issues i have and he mentioned problems he had with me (there actually werent alot of issues he had with me). as for the whole weight thing, he told me that yes he does want me to trim down but not just for physical attraction. he says that by having me live healthier will help him do the same. he wants me to get to a weight where i feel comfortable at so i feel better about myself because he knows how insecure i am. and i flat out told him that i will not have a perfect body like a Victoria's Secret model. his answer was that it doesnt matter to him and he would still be happy with me. basically, he just wants me or "us" to lose weight because we have both gained weight since we met each other.
and as for the time he said "do you think im attracted to all of this fat?", we cleared that up as well. he said that because he was really fed up with me complaining about my weight all of the time and he just got so angry. but the important thing is that he realized what he said was wrong and that he sincerely felt bad about it. i also told him that what he did on myspace kinda hurt my feelings. he said that even though it was fun and games for him he would change his profile, which he was doing before i left for work so i can read it tomorrow.
right now i must say that i am very happy with my bf. i mean, things are never perfect in any relationship and i will admit that some aspects of our relationship arent healthy, but we are working on it. i guess i look at it this way: we use to fight all of the time, but we are still together and improving ourselves. doesnt that mean something??? i think it means that we really love each other for us to endure all of the crap that we have throughout our relationship. i think that things happen for a reason and i look at this experience as a step forward towards happiness.

thank you all for your support and thank you for listening. you all gave me advice that i could not have gotten anywhere else.

boysRsmelly · March 31st, 2007, 10:05 AM

I am so glad you took my advice (taking a look at the whole situation and having a serious discussion with your bf)! The fact that he stuck around to listen to you is a very good sign! I just hope that real progress was made here and that he wasn't trying to pass the blame off onto you. If you feel he is worth the effort... then keep at it! You're right... no relationship is perfect.

I tell people all the time that my husband is the most annoying thing in the world! LOL!