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  1. #1
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Just needing to vent...

    It's just me, venting here. I'm pretty upset right now and, unfortunately, it has been an ongoing thing for some time now. Here I am, half way through my Masters and I have never been more confused or unsure of things. Long story short, I don't feel like I fit in with my program. I am being pushed in a certain direction and I'm unsure if that is really the direction I want to take. I confessed this to my adviser and was basically told that maybe it would be better if I took a year off. I don't know if I really want to do that either, especially since I would have to start paying my student loans. Ugh. I have been looking in every direction, but I feel so lost that I really don't know what to think. I feel like the degree I am getting is not going to get me where I want to go career-wise. Yet, I have absolutely no clue what I would want in a career... I only know what I don't want from being exposed to stuff in classes I have taken. I have reached out to so many people, some of them being extremely long shots. I was hoping one of them could point me in the right direction. After receiving some responses, I feel as though I'm being shot down. The message I am getting is that I need to get out there and make my research what I want it to be. But how do I do that if even I don't know what I want? My head is so clouded, I can't even think straight anymore. It's like I'm in this fog. Sounds weird, but I don't know if any other way to describe it.

  2. #2
    \(^.^)/ Jennifer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    There are many students out there who are going through or went through exactly what you are going through.. so don't feel alone! You've come so far and are almost done with your masters.. is it possible that this is just a burned out phase? I'm against taking a year off, but if you're really feeling lost in the dark, then maybe you should. About the student loans, couldn't you defer it?

    I'm sorry b.

  3. #3
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    You're so sweet Jennifer! My adviser suggested that I am just burned out. That is probably true to some degree, after all I can't seem to concentrate enough to get my assignments done. But I feel it is something way deeper than that. It's like my high school painting class all over again. I took tons of art classes while in middle school. I was convinced I was going to be an artist and I had everything all planned out to get myself accepted into an art school after high school. I got to high school and they placed me in a painting class, since they felt I didn't need to take the normally required beginning classes. The class was awful and the teacher did nothing but criticize my work. I ended up getting a C- in the class and my dreams were crushed. In my current situation, I feel as out of place as I did in that painting class. It has been nothing like I thought it was going to be. At my old school (where I went for undergrad), I had a lot in common with the people around me. We saw the world in the same way. Here at my new school, people have a completely different view on things. Not that differing opinions isn't a good thing, but I feel like an outcast if that makes any sense.

    Oh, and to answer your question, my loans are currently in deferment. If I stop going to school, I have to start paying on them after 6 months.

  4. #4
    ♥ Moderator ♥ Zombiegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    I am really sorry that you are going through this bRs. I am not sure what to tell you to do. Would it be possible to take 6 months or even a semester off to clear your head?
    *HUGS*
    W I S H ♥ L I S T
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  5. #5
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    You have to remember I have the summer, so if I took the fall semester off then my loans would come due in September. What sucks is that I am supposed to have an advising committee put together and they have to approve the rest of the classes I plan to take. I am supposed to have that done by the end of this semester, otherwise I risk having my graduation delayed by a year anyway. Basically, it's either figure it out now or take a year off. I don't have the whole summer to "think" about it.

    It's just so frustrating because I have been trying to contact people for help and I have either not received a response or I have been politely shot down. One person did tell me not to give up on the degree I had chosen (since I have considered trying to find a different department)... but couldn't offer much more than that.

  6. #6
    ♥'s RM Jess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    Hm...I'm sorry, bRs. Taking a year off would really suck since you'd have to start paying on your loans. But, maybe it will help taking some time off?

  7. #7
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    I'm wondering where I could find a job that would pay enough so I could even afford to make the payments. I wouldn't be able to tell them I intend to quite after a year.

  8. #8
    Bag Fan Newbie von_Falkenstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    bRs, I am really sorry for what happens to you.

    I know this burn out syndrom quite well and what helped me was, to focus on the coming vacation. During this time (vacations) I did not do anything but relax. After a few days a progress inside me started almost unawareable at first and I calmed down. Some weeks later the world became brighter and my concentracion was back.
    I donīt think it takes one year for you as well. Try to set a goal (like vacation).
    In a whole year out of study-stress it is much more dif. to come back than to take just a little break (but this in full and for your own only!).

    Hugs

    Katha

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    Although a time out is not financially diserable for you as you have to pay back your loan, but I do think thats what you need, a time out, so you can just think. It is true theres so many people going through the ''is this right for me, what do i want to do'' disscussion, so don't feel alone. I'm sure it gets fustrating especially if you feel as though what you are saying is not being heard. You just need to keep your chin up, head clear, and try and think about all your choices.

  10. #10
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    Quote Originally Posted by von_Falkenstein View Post
    bRs, I am really sorry for what happens to you.

    I know this burn out syndrom quite well and what helped me was, to focus on the coming vacation. During this time (vacations) I did not do anything but relax. After a few days a progress inside me started almost unawareable at first and I calmed down. Some weeks later the world became brighter and my concentracion was back.
    I donīt think it takes one year for you as well. Try to set a goal (like vacation).
    In a whole year out of study-stress it is much more dif. to come back than to take just a little break (but this in full and for your own only!).

    Hugs

    Katha
    I understand what you're saying. If I plan on moving forward on schedule though, I will need to spend my summer working on my research. I actually want to take a vacation, but I don't know if we can afford to actually go somewhere. Plus the rabbits need someone to take care of them...

  11. #11
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    Quote Originally Posted by pixileather View Post
    Although a time out is not financially diserable for you as you have to pay back your loan, but I do think thats what you need, a time out, so you can just think. It is true theres so many people going through the ''is this right for me, what do i want to do'' disscussion, so don't feel alone. I'm sure it gets fustrating especially if you feel as though what you are saying is not being heard. You just need to keep your chin up, head clear, and try and think about all your choices.
    I know I'm probably not to first person in grad school to run into a problem like this. And you're right, I do feel like I'm not being heard. I feel like everyone is casting my aside even though I'm crying out for help.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    Have you had a look at thestudentroom? It's a huge student forum and maybe there will be someone there who has been in the same position as you/ similar position..I really think regardless of your tutor sounding bias, you need to bring up these issues, and keep bringing them up, cause even though youve got to pay your loans back soon, theres no point staying and gaining a grade that isnt as good as you could have done. ( I dont know how MA's are graded ) Is there no head of department or someone higher up then the tutor you are talking about?

    It's so rubbish that your feeling let down, just shows the huge gap between student tutor relationships, and how there isnt really a procedure in place for these things.

  13. #13
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    I haven't heard of that forum, but I can check it out. I have spoken to someone higher up in the past, but I don't think their is much they can do for me. The school feels it is the student's responsibility to find an adviser that has similar interests. That has turned out to be extremely difficult, but I suppose if I knew what I wanted it wouldn't be quite as bad as it is.

  14. #14
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    I had another meeting today and it didn't go well. I was so upset by the time I got home, I was crying all over Mr BRS. I think he was a bit mad since I was getting stuff on his shirt. Anyway, he took me out to eat and I spent the evening drowning my sorrows in food. Boy, that wasn't a very good idea.

  15. #15
    \(^.^)/ Jennifer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just needing to vent...

    I'm so sorry your meeting didn't go well

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