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  1. #1
    Official Bagista frbspa's Avatar
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    Default Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    It's a coincidence that Jen wanted a topic in Life and General Chat as I wanted to ask this question anyway. I guess this is due to my own experiences since I was a teenager until now at 30+, I've never been able to be good friends with a guy without it turning into something more (more often than not, it's not my choice or something I wanted). It might be our culture/religion, or even how I interact with that particular person.
    The last instance was today, found one of my ex BF who is also my classmate in high school on FB. He opened a chat window and we talked for a while. We basically just updated each other on what's been going on in each other's life, career, family etc. Suddenly, when we are about to sign off, the conversation turned weird. It just made me wonder if anyone here have had/having a healthy platonic relationship with the opposite sex.
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  2. #2
    *The TBF Elite* FedUp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    I totally hear you frbspa.
    I sometimes wonder too if culture has anything to do with it.
    I have had experiences of male friends reading something more into the relationship than i am offering and i have had to politely get the message across or just completely distance myself.

    As i grow older, i have had better luck. I am really good friends with a couple of my high school mates. We used to have a pretty stressful relationship when we were in school. But now all of us are married, with kids and more mature (hopefully). We often talk about life, philosophy and more. I used to find them quite irritating when we were in school, but their maturity and their thinking now has completely blown me away. A few months ago when i was going through a rough patch, they gave me such wonderful pep talks that boosted me up. I count them among my really good friends now.
    "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have."

  3. #3
    Official Bagista frbspa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    That's good to know, maybe there's hope yet.
    Maybe it's just because they were my exes that it turns out that way I do have male good friends but then I'm also good friends with their wives and they are friends with DH.
    The ones that do turn out weird, do not know DH, all are married with kids and have a history with me.
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    bag fan TexLatina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    I have a male friend who I met when I first moved here. He's been more like a big brother to me and he says I'm the little sister her never wanted. He's been there for me in situations that only a brother could...so yes I think its totally possible to be platonic friends with a guy.

  5. #5
    The Bag Star BexlovesBagz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    I haven't had such luck ---
    the last guy friend I had I so wanted to be more than friends ---
    the guy friend before that wanted to be more than friends w me ---
    ughhh !
    unless -- they are not straight -- then I can totally be friends with them and vice versa !!

  6. #6
    *The TBF Elite* Maeveyblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    My best friend, for years, was a male. The only reason he isn't now is because he's gone.
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  7. #7
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    I was always friends with more guys than gals when I was in high school. I just got along with them better. A lot less drama, you know? We would have fun together and I never had a more-than-friends relationship with any of them. Actually, when Mr BRS and I first started dating, he thought it was great. If I wanted to see a movie that he didn't want to see, he'd tell me to have one of my guy friends take me. And, of course, all my guy friends liked me because they could take me along places to help them pick up women. :shrugs: Sadly, a lot of those people eventually ended up moving away. It's a little harder now that I'm older, since most guys aren't interested in being friends with a woman (especially a married one).

  8. #8
    Official Bagista frbspa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    I'm so glad to know that there are guys who can be just good friends with a woman. Now that I think back, when I was single, most guys in my home country just can't seem to get the fact that I just want to be friends. Even if at first we were just friends, usually coz both of us were in a relationship with someone else, once there were problems with either relationship, the guy just starts to want more.
    It really sucked coz then I'll say no and we won't be friends anymore.
    Now that I'm married, the guys who do want to be more than friends are my exes who are also married. I'm starting to think there are no happily married men in their 30's, which I know just isn't true coz I know a bunch of guys IRL, who are happy including DH.
    Maybe I just had bad taste in guys as these guys just don't seem to care that they are married with kids?
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  9. #9
    nicole iheartmjnicole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    My best friend is a guy and we've known each other for a while now. I think it is possible, like being friends with a girl if you get along and you can talk etc. then why not!? I've never been one to get along well with girls and he has always been a good friend. Sometimes its hard because guys do see certain situations / things differently then a girl would but it's also good to see their side. I can see how as I get older it would be harder to make guy friends rather then already having one. Since I am engaged now I would imagine meeting a guy and trying to just be friends would be kind of weird hehe!


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  10. #10
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    Well, I always feel very lucky to have two best friends in college who are both guys. We play basketball together and change opinions about almost everything. There is no doubt that men and women can have nothing but good fellolwship according to my experience. But when it comes to ex, I don't know if I can do that.

  11. #11
    Bag Admirer DesignerObsession's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    Well of course they can ALL of my friends are men i haven't had friends who are women...ever. I find men are easier to get along with, you don't have to put up with drama, men are pretty chill most of the time, they make wonderful friends. All of my friendships with these men are strictly platonic..I'm happily engaged to a man i love very much. I seem to bond better with men always have, i can always depend on a man to be a real friend, something i can't seem to ever say that about any of the females i tried to befriend over the years. As far as i know none of the men i have as friends have any sort of romantic feelings for me and i can say for sure i don't have those sorts of feelings for them.

  12. #12
    Bag Admirer ShoppingL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men, women: Can they ever be platonic good friends?

    i think members of the opposite sex can remain good friends after all. The key is to define and make obvious your obectives right from the start. There are some people (you will know when you experience) that you just remain friends with and dont even think about something beyond!

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