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  1. #16
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    Quote Originally Posted by warhols__muse View Post
    I would ask him where he is from, like in a friendly manner, like you're just really interested or something. And then, maybe you can look up his culture and see what their business etiquette is like, maybe they don't make eye contact like it's offensive or something.
    He won't be there for the first two weeks. Do you think it would be appropriate to ask his assistant? I don't know if they are from the same country, but they did work together on a project. My mentor was in Germany at the time and this other guy was in Portugal.

  2. #17
    *Moderator* vuittongirlxoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    I'm glad you got an e-mail finally! If you can't make it Sunday, I think it's best to get a ride so you don't worry about where your car is all day Monday.

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  3. #18
    working on my phd pingping's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    good luck with the program! i agree, it will def be much easier for you to not have to worry about parking on the first day along with everything else, so if you could get dropped off that would be perfect.

    has this professor ever worked with students at all? or is it just that he hasn't done this particular program before? i would be a little afraid if he's never had students before, b/c then he might not be great at being a mentor and teaching you and stuff. Is this something like a summer science research program?
    Now on a BAN!

  4. #19
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    Quote Originally Posted by pingping View Post
    good luck with the program! i agree, it will def be much easier for you to not have to worry about parking on the first day along with everything else, so if you could get dropped off that would be perfect.

    has this professor ever worked with students at all? or is it just that he hasn't done this particular program before? i would be a little afraid if he's never had students before, b/c then he might not be great at being a mentor and teaching you and stuff. Is this something like a summer science research program?
    I honestly don't know if he's had students before, but I assume he has had at least some because he's leaving the country to pick some exchange students and bring them back here. He for sure hasn't done this program before, I know that because he told me. I'm thinking he may have just recently moved here because the paper he wrote for a university in Germany is dated February 2008. I am very concerned because I have A LOT riding on this. My graduating in the spring is depending on this.
    And yes, this is a summer research program that the university does every year. It's supposed to be for people interested in graduate school.

  5. #20
    *The TBF Elite* FedUp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    Hi BRS, I can understand your concerns. I did a research paper in Grad school and my adviser did not seem too comfortable with women ( he was old fashioned and believed a woman's place was at home :-) but i nevertheless managed to do well in it. I just made it a point to be very courteous and respectful and at the same time not be too meek.

    I don't think it would be offensive for you to ask in a general conversation to his assistant, re: where the prof is from. You can insert the question into a small conversation about how you would one day like to travel to Europe (or wherever you guess the prof is generally from) and wondered where the prof was from. If the assistant and prof. just happen to be too shy, by acting as though their behavior was absolutely normal, continue to be extremely friendly and that will knock their defenses down pretty fast

    I agree with everyone's suggestion that you should get your hubby to drop you off. Worrying about parking and getting towed is a stress you can avoid on your first day.
    Best of Luck. Hope your research program works out awesome.
    "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have."

  6. #21
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    K, I sorta tricked the manager on duty tonight and I was able to leave a little early. So I dropped in at the silly little party thing and got my temporary parking permit. Soooooo... I guess I'll be parking in the lot tomorrow and walking over to where everyone is meeting. I'm scared. LOL!

  7. #22
    ♥ Moderator ♥ Zombiegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    Woohoo!! So glad you were able to attend and get your parking permit.
    Don't be scared!!
    Good luck today and let us know how your first day went!!
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  8. #23
    *Moderator* vuittongirlxoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    I'm glad you got your permit brs! Good luck today!

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  9. #24
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    I'm back. OMG, today was just awful! I've never felt so alone and unwelcome in all my life!

  10. #25
    ♥'s RM Jess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    Quote Originally Posted by boysRsmelly View Post
    I'm back. OMG, today was just awful! I've never felt so alone and unwelcome in all my life!
    What happened??

  11. #26
    *Moderator* vuittongirlxoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    Oh no, brs!! Why?

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  12. #27
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    IDK... I just didn't seem to be fitting in very well. Everyone at my school is so nice and you can talk to just about anyone and become friendly just like that. So this morning I parked in the parking lot and I had to walk 5 blocks to get to the student union. I came in the back way because of the direction I was coming from, but I knew how to get into the place anyway because Mr BRS used to go to school at this university. I came in and there were people standing around showing you where to go... but apparently they were a bit confused. First they sent me this way and then that way. Ten minutes later and they had me at the line to get my ID card. I was at the back of the line and by the time I got my ID card it seemed like everyone else was finished. I headed over to the conference room, but when I got there I couldn't see anywhere to sit. So I sat down in a chair against the back wall until a coordinator person snapped at me and told me I needed to sit up front and squeeze in between these two people. Yeah... They gave their little talk and then they told us we needed to head down to lunch. The cafeteria that we're supposed to use is also used by all of the summer school students. The place was packed full and there were mobs of people everywhere scrambling to get into different lines. I just went over to the salad bar and then I went somewhere in the back to sit by myself, since by the time I got back there everyone had formed little groups at tables. It's like they all formed these little cliques already because they were all living in the residence hall there together. OMG... it was so much like junior high it wasn't even funny! I would smile at people, but they would just look away and continue talking to whoever they were sitting with. I just don't get it.
    Sorry... this is turning out a bit long. Well, anyway, we split off into our different research groups after lunch. There are ten people in my program, with only two other girls besides myself. We had to follow this guy around and he made sure he gave a REALLY good tour of the rec center. Showing all the guys in the group all the millions of basketball courts there were. The two other girls in my group didn't seem very friendly at all. They wouldn't even make eye contact with me so I didn't try approaching them. We went to the building where we would be working and had a little lecture there about what would be happening the first few days. Then I talked with the lady in charge there to express my concerns about my mentor and would-be project. They said to feel it out for a couple of days and then talk to them again on Wednesday. They did think it was a bit odd that the professor was acting the way he did though. Then I went to talk to the professor's assistant, who's actually a grad student. He was talking a little better with me this time, but he seemed to be struggling with what to say and what to tell me. He just said I could meet him tomorrow after the safety training and he was told to have me start making up medium to use for the bacteria. I hope there was an actual plan in place and that he just couldn't find the words to explain stuff to me. I'm still pretty much in the dark about what's going on.

  13. #28
    Official Bagista tacuddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    I'm so sorry today was awful for you. It really sucks when you feel left out, especially at the beginning of the program. Since none of the girls in your group were nice, were any of the guys nice and friendly at least?

    Hopefully once things get going you'll find someone to bond with.

  14. #29
    *The TBF Elite* FedUp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    Sorry, you had a bad first day BRS.

    Hopefully once you get your research started you will be engaged with your work and will not have to worry about unfriendly people.
    "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have."

  15. #30
    Moderator and Blogger boysRsmelly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nervous about my research program...

    Quote Originally Posted by tacuddy View Post
    I'm so sorry today was awful for you. It really sucks when you feel left out, especially at the beginning of the program. Since none of the girls in your group were nice, were any of the guys nice and friendly at least?

    Hopefully once things get going you'll find someone to bond with.
    Um... I don't really know. They were really busy doing chest-bum type things and talking about girls they wanted to get with. Or at least, that is what I understood from hearing their conversations as we walked along during the tour.

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