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  1. #1
    Rising Bag Star andromeda-rose's Avatar
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    Default Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    I'm afraid this is a long post - but I just couldn't make up my mind on my own.
    So there I was, looking at my Holy Grail listed on that not-so-holy-Bay, with a price that seemed just right. The seller had zero feedback but seemed to be sincere, her pics were convincing but not complete, so I sent her my standard set of "must ask" questions to check for authenticity and condition. All I wanted to know was about the bag and not the circumstances that led up to her deciding to sell, but I got an earful and some.

    To my simple inquiry on where she bought the bag she answered and I quote, (while I hesitate to reveal her story, I can't paraphrase it with the same nuance and she was the one that brought it up so..)

    "My EX-HUSBAND purchased this for me APPROXIMATELY a year ago. I honestly never asked him where he bought it. I wanted one...he brought one home from a business trip when he went to New York City. I learned never to ask him too many questions for fear of being "punished". Sorry if that is too graphic, but it is the truth. I'm sorry if I cannot provide the answer you want or need."

    and after answering my questions with comments like "if you don't trust me, don't bid", she closes with,

    I apologize if you feel I was rude, but I am in chemotherapy and am not going to sit and look at every inch of the purse and try to describe what I see. I'm truly very sorry if you find me to be rude, but I'm 34 years old with breast cancer and trying to make a little extra money so my kiddos can have a fantastic Christmas. I do not want this purse anymore, but I am not stupid. I know it is worth quite a bit. I'm not a professional purse shopper. I had wanted a _____(name of bag) for about 4 years. My ex thought that he could make up for his abuse by buying me one. I have no doubt in my mind that this purse is authentic. I looked up the serial number and it matches with the real deal. I've VISITED the purse authentication sites, but have never registered, as this is the only purse over ____(dollar amount) that I own and I will not be getting another one.

    Again, I apologize if you were offended in any way, as that was not my intention. Six weeks of chemo seems to have made me a little grouchy...and I have 4-1/2 months to go. Don't feel sorry for me...feel sorry for my family! :D Take care, and I really did not mean to be rude.

    Reading this, I didn't know what to think. Sure I felt awful for her but I also felt her story was inappropriate and affected my buying decision from an emotional view. I really like the bag and its waay below what it usually lists for because she obviously had to compete with people who have better feedback. And this bag doesn't come up too often. I also think if I get it, I would have done her a good thing. And its one of my hard-to-find Holy Grails afterall which I kind of wanted to carry my new laptop, so its practical and will be used quite a bit. But well, a bag that has a story of of domestic abuse attached to it is a little daunting. I've been thinking about this for 2 days and I still can't make up my mind but I have to soon.

    Ladies, what would you do?

  2. #2
    Rising Bag Star andromeda-rose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    As I sit here re-reading this, I am getting embarrassed and feeling guilty I posted this and I guess I should not bid just for having revealed this woman's story. I've just been mulling over this for so long and this isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened to me. Alot of sellers do so during tough times and I guess they just want someone to hear their story. But it does place a burden on the buyer if you don't know them personally. I think if I knew her, my answer would be simple, I'd just buy it. But she is a stranger afterall and that makes things complicated.
    So I guess I'll go back to my original question, can you feel comfortable buying second hand items with a dark past?

    (I originally thought of posting this on the eBay forum but it was not a transaction issue and the situation could happen at other sites like Craigslist so I put it here. Pls move it if its the wrong place.)

  3. #3
    I am now LVholicmum juicyholicmum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    I would buy a second hand bag with a dark past just so I can give it a good home... but seeing that this seller doesn't have feedback is hard, also, that if anything goes wrong with the purchase, she might use the cancer in her defence.... sorry luv, JMO...

  4. #4
    RM Ticked Off!
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    honestly, i really hope that her life gets better, but after reading that, i would just feel so uncomfortable with knowing way too much about its owner that i don't think i'd get it. somebody will eventually buy it, and you'll find your way to your HG again soon.
    Wishlist: get out of debt

    so totally :banned2:


  5. #5
    Totally Purse Obsessed Arianne12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    wow, that is quite heavy. I would feel really badly for her if that is truly her situation, but being the skeptic that i am, i can't completely believe everyone's sob story. there have been stories of people breaking up and wanting to get rid of the bag which was a gift etc. as an indirect way of saying they can't guarantee authenticity. If i'm paying that kind of money for a bag and Bal bags are not cheap, I would want complete confidence in the seller. Please don't think I sound harsh, but what if she suddenly feels emotionally unable to go through with the transaction or can't find the time to ship it? And what if you're not happy and wants a refund, but can't get responses from her? If I were to buy bags off ebay, I would normally buy from powersellers or those with more than 50 100% feedback. After all, it's a business transaction. Sorry!

  6. #6
    *The TBF Elite* Maeveyblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    Everybody on Ebay has a sob story. It makes them more believeable. I know it's horrible to sit with that, but it's true. And especially the ones that are selling fake bags.

    What auction is it?
    Thinking of...
    Chanel Black Jumbo
    LV Artsy MM
    Holy Grail: Chanel 06 Bleu Fonce Jumbo


    In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity."
    ~Einstein~

  7. #7
    Rising Bag Star xxrachxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    I think it'd depend on the story really, but to be honest I think an abusive relationship would kinda put me off. I know it may be silly, but I just think the circumstances in which the bag was purhased would be a major turn off.. would maybe take the 'sparkle' away from the bag? Maybe thats just me, but I think I would have rather been oblivious of the bags 'story'. If you love the bag though and you think that it is legit, I would say go for it.. afterall the lady seems like she really needs the money from it.

  8. #8
    Ilovebags violaceous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    Really, a bag is a bag. I don't think I'd buy from this person, though. Not because of the story; because of the way they responded. It's odd to me that they'd share so much with a complete stranger, instead of just saying "I don't need it right now," or something.

  9. #9
    *Moderator* vuittongirlxoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    I hate to sound like I'm in disbelief, but I agree with Arianne & Maevey. I wouldn't be so fast to believe all stories on ebay. It's awful because even if someone is telling the truth other people ruin it for them. But this is your money and no matter what personal issues or sad stories people may have, at the end of the day your cash is on the line. And you don't want to be at a loss. If someone can not prove authenticity for whatever reason I wouldn't risk it.

    Anyone can sit behind a computer and type whatever they want. Maybe she really is sick and had an abusive relationship. But maybe she has no feedback and is trying to get take advantage of buyers by getting sympathy. The truth is no one ever knows for sure. It's a big risk that's not worth taking. JMO!! There are a lot of nave buyers out there and twice as many sellers waiting to take advantage of them.

    wishlist..
    .sofia coppola monogram
    .vernis alma mm in pomme d'amour
    .artsy mm
    .python galliera pm
    .monogram galliera pm

  10. #10
    Rising Bag Star andromeda-rose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    Thanks everyone for helping me to sort my feelings about this. When I first read this email, I honestly felt more chilled than annoyed or sorry by the story about her ex-husband's abuse because he was the one that actually bought the bag. Call it bad vibes. And heaven forbid, but what if she died with all these regrets and unresolved issues? I'd feel haunted.

    Well, by this time I felt silly that my imagination was taking over. And I thought about why I couldn't trust her. First of all, she said she'd send additional photos and she never did, either because I didn't respond to her email, or she was too sick.

    Another thing is despite her obvious hatred towards her husband, she said both her eBay seller name and her email addy is in HIS name!!! Now isn't that odd? If I were an abused wife those would be the last things I'd use for this sort of thing.

    Finally, I remembered as I was writing this of a colleague at one of my former jobs who was going through something similar. She was divorced with 2 kids, going through chemo while still working, and was always afraid her ex would try to steal her children and maybe even leave the country. But she was a sweet woman and she had found a nice new BF who adored her and got along fabulously with her kids. And I realized, what if this seller also had another man in the shadows? For all her sob story, she may not be entirely alone. The male name she's using on eBay and email may not be her Ex but her new BF. If that were true, it'd paint a whole new picture of this drama queen.

    Well that's my feelings on this subject thus far. I think this is one HG I'll have to pass, though it still seems just a few clicks away. I've had sellers tell more than I need to know but this one takes the cake and I still can't figure out why they do this. I mean its really not helping their sale.

    It's been awhile since I've been on this site and it sure feels good to be back.

  11. #11
    *Moderator* vuittongirlxoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    You made the right decision!

    wishlist..
    .sofia coppola monogram
    .vernis alma mm in pomme d'amour
    .artsy mm
    .python galliera pm
    .monogram galliera pm

  12. #12
    Totally Purse Obsessed Arianne12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    Yeah, you made the right decision. Save yourself some potential hassle. Your HG will come along again in better circumstances and you will be so happy!

  13. #13
    SAUCY! GUNG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    If you love it, buy it (given that it is authentic) A bag with a "story" would not bother me and again, if you love it, by all means buy it. I understand that you have to be a skeptic in today's world but you also at the same time, have to take people at their word sometimes. If we were all skeptics 24/7....well that would just suck! I doubt this woman concocted that entire story to sell a purse but then again that is just my opinion. Please let us know what you decide =)

    PS: What kind of purse is it?
    Recovering bag addict now indulges in pseudo-moderation

  14. #14
    I give up ^_^
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    Yikes, I wonder if she is even telling the truth, people on ebay will make up every history. If this is true I really hope she gets better.

    Back to the original question, I don't think I'd buy a bag after knowing all this.

  15. #15
    Rising Bag Star heartOflondon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you buy a bag that has a sad story attached?

    I say if you love it, get it. The person with the handbag makes the bag a story. re-do the bags history.

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